The Parents We Mean to Be: How Well-Intentioned Adults Undermine Children's Moral and Emotional Development

Harvard psychologist Richard Weissbourd argues incisively that parents - not peers, not television - are the primary shapers of their children's moral lives. And yet, it is parents' lack of self-awareness and confused priorities that are dangerously undermining children’s development.

Through the author's own original field research, including hundreds of rich, revealing conversations with children, parents, teachers, and coaches, a surprising picture emerges. Parents' intense focus on their children's happiness is turning many children into self-involved, fragile conformists.The suddenly widespread desire of parents to be closer to their children - a heartening trend in many ways - often undercuts kids' morality.Our fixation with being great parents - and our need for our children to reflect that greatness - can actually make them feel ashamed for failing to measure up. Finally, parents' interactions with coaches and teachers - and coaches' and teachers' interactions with children - are critical arenas for nurturing, or eroding, children's moral lives.