Not How I Pictured It

A sharply hilarious and ultimately heartfelt novel about a former teen superstar who grudgingly agrees to a reboot of the show that made her (in)famous… only to find herself stranded on an island with her former co-stars - and quite possibly the most useless survival group in history. For fans of Lizzy Dent, Linda Holmes, and Katherine Center.

Twenty years after Ocean Views went off the air, the beloved TV show about teenage romance and angst is back. No one is more surprised than its former star, Agnes “Ness” Larkin, that she’s agreed to step back into the role of Hailey Grant. After her father/manager took off with her earnings, Ness ran away from the spotlight in shame. But maybe it’s time to stare her past, and her castmates, in their discreetly Botoxed faces.

That enthusiasm lasts until the first table read, which, in co-star Coco’s words, is “like a high school reunion without the dim lighting or booze.” Ness assumed her old fling Hayes Beaumont would be too busy doing Big Hollywood Things to take part, but there he is, seated beside her, exuding pheromones and success.

En route to the deluxe Bahamas resort where they’re to start filming, the cast gets stranded by a storm. Stuck on a tiny island with a paltry cache of food and quite possibly the most useless survival group in history, Ness tries to reconcile her youthful dreams with where she’s ended up—figuratively and literally. The producers wanted drama on and off-screen, and they’re going to get it, but where will Ness be when it’s all over?