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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity
Perel, Esther
(Hardcover)
Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo - universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat - even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage - with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships - what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, "Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart."
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity
Perel, Esther
(Paperback)
An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo - universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat - even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage - with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships - what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.
Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free
Martin, Wednesday
(Hardcover)
From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Primates of Park Avenue, a bold, timely reconsideration of female infidelity that will upend everything you thought you knew about women and sex.What do straight, married female revelers at an all-women's sex club in LA have in common with nomadic pastoralists in Namibia who bear children by men not their husbands? Like women worldwide, they crave sexual variety, novelty, and excitement. In ancient Greek tragedies, Netflix series, tabloids and pop songs, we've long portrayed such cheating women as dangerous and damaged. We love to hate women who are untrue. But who are they really? And why, in this age of female empowerment, do we continue to judge them so harshly? In Untrue, feminist author and cultural critic Wednesday Martin takes us on a bold, fascinating journey to reveal the unexpected evolutionary legacy and social realities that drive female faithlessness, while laying bare our motivations to contain women who step out. Blending accessible social science and interviews with sex researchers, anthropologists, and real women from all walks of life, Untrue challenges our deepest assumptions about ourselves, monogamy, and the women we think we know. From recent data suggesting women may struggle more than men with sexual exclusivity to the revolutionary idea that females of many species evolved to be "promiscuous" to Martin's trenchant assertion that female sexual autonomy is the ultimate metric of gender equality, Untrue will change the way you think about women and sex forever.
What If?: Answers to Questions About What It Means to Be Gay and Lesbian
Marcus, Eric
(Hardcover)
An updated and revised informative, accessible guide to understanding and approaching the issue of sexual orientation. No question goes unanswered in this important book about being gay. All the basics - and not-so-basics - are covered in more than one hundred questions asked by real teens. Whether you're curious about your own sexual orientation or looking to understand and support someone close to you, this book contains an abundance of answers. Primarily targeted at young adults, this indispensable guide also includes a chapter especially for parents as well as an appendix packed with additional resources. Expert Eric Marcus has fully updated and revised this essential guide for today's readers. He candidly and clearly pushes aside the myths and misinformation about being gay and lesbian, answering all the questions that are on your mind.
Somebody with a Little Hammer
Gaitskill, Mary
(Paperback)
In essays on matters literary, social, cultural, and personal, Mary Gaitskill explores date rape and political adultery, the transcendentalism of the Talking Heads, the melancholy of Bjork, and the playfulness of artist Laurel Nakadate. She celebrates the clownish grandiosity and the poetry of Norman Mailer's long career and maps the sociosexual cataclysm embodied by porn star Linda Lovelace. Witty, wide-ranging, tender, and beautiful, Somebody with a Little Hammer displays the same heat-seeking, revelatory understanding for which Gaitskill's writing has always been known.
Somebody with a Little Hammer: Essays
Gaitskill, Mary
(Hardcover)
From one of the most singular presences in American fiction comes a searingly intelligent book of essays on matters literary, social, cultural, and personal. Whether she’s writing about date rape or political adultery or writers from John Updike to Gillian Flynn, Mary Gaitskill reads her subjects deftly and aphoristically and moves beyond them to locate the deep currents of longing, ambition, perversity, and loneliness in the American unconscious. She shows us the transcendentalism of the Talking Heads, the melancholy of Björk, the playfulness of artist Laurel Nakadate. She celebrates the clownish grandiosity and the poetry of Norman Mailer’s long career and maps the sociosexual cataclysm embodied by porn star Linda Lovelace. And in the deceptively titled “Lost Cat,” she explores how the most intimate relationships may be warped by power and race. Witty, tender, beautiful, and unsettling, Somebody with a Little Hammer displays the same heat-seeking, revelatory understanding for which we value Gaitskill’s fiction.
What Happy Women Know: How New Findings in Positive Psychology Can Change Women's Lives for the Better
Baker, Dan
(Paperback)
The director of Canyon Ranch’s award-winning Life Enhancement Program draws on the latest discoveries in psychology and gender-specific medicine to help all women enjoy richer, healthier, more fulfilling lives. In this innovative book about what brings women happiness, Dr. Dan Baker focuses on the five traps that can compromise happiness and leave women yearning for a better life. Unlike clinical psychology, which focuses on trying to fix what’s wrong with an individual, positive psychology builds on a person’s natural strengths. The root of most unhappiness, fear, finds a special expression in women, who too often succumb to the happiness traps of perfectionism, wanton wanting, people pleasing, seeking revenge, thinking I’m nothing without X, and overinvesting in their careers. In What Happy Women Know, Dr. Baker synthesizes a wide range of current research on how women uniquely respond to life’s slings and arrows and how they can best bounce back from them. The book offers women a compelling set of tools that will help them accept the past and actively move toward a happier future of their own design.
Infiel
Martin, Wednesday
(Paperback)
Overview not currently available
Herculine Barbin
Foucault, Michel
(Paperback)
With an eye for the sensual bloom of young schoolgirls, and the torrid style of the romantic novels of her day, Herculine Barbin tells the story of her life as a hermaphrodite. Herculine was designated female at birth. A pious girl in a Catholic orphanage, a bewildered adolescent enchanted by the ripening bodies of her classmates, a passionate lover of another schoolmistress, she is suddenly reclassified as a man. Alone and desolate, he commits suicide at the age of thirty in a miserable attic in Paris.Here, in an erotic diary, is one lost voice from our sexual past. Provocative, articulate, eerily prescient as she imagines her corpse under the probing instruments of scientists, Herculine brings a disturbing perspective to our own notions of sexuality. Michel Foucault, who discovered these memoirs in the archives of the French Department of Public Hygiene, presents them with the graphic medical descriptions of Herculine's body before and after her death. In a striking contrast, a painfully confused young person and the doctors who examine her try to sort out the nature of masculine and feminine at the dawn of the age of modern sexuality.
Sex After . . .
Krasnow, Iris
(Paperback)
The bestselling author of The Secret Lives of Wives offers a refreshingly straightforward guide to enjoying a long, satisfying sex life. Women of the baby boomer generation know and trust Iris Krasnow as a writer who speaks candidly to the issues that concern them most. In the months following the publication of her most recent book, The Secret Lives of Wives, Krasnow addressed thousands of women, and she discovered that two subjects dominated her audiences’ conversations: sex and change. Whether women are worried about marriage and divorce or illness and death, they’re all asking: “How do I handle the shifts in my sexuality caused by these events?” Sex After . . . holds the answers to everything from regaining sexual confidence after childbirth and breast cancer to navigating the dating scene in senior communities. As with all of Krasnow’s books since her New York Times bestseller Surrendering to Marriage, the narrative is driven by real women’s stories: raw, intimate, and, most importantly, true. Prescriptive, emancipating, and insightful, Sex After . . . addresses a range of circumstances, including what happens: When you or your spouse doesn’t want sex anymore After cancer, amputation, PTSD, or another illness maims the body If you come out of the closet at middle age When your marriage is damaged by adultery If you’re dating again after twenty-five years with the same sexual partner When your husband is addicted to Viagra Filled with edgy and honest stories of carnal challenge and triumph from women of all backgrounds and life stages, Sex After . . . is Krasnow’s signature take on Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex but Were Afraid to Ask—during all of life’s passages. Krasnow is a media and lecture tour favorite, and readers—whether in the heat of an initial can’t-eat-can’t-sleep attraction or rounding the corner to their sixtieth anniversary—will applaud her eye-opening perspectives on the one issue that can change lives for better or worse like nothing else.
The Late Bloomer: A Memoir of My Body
Baker, Ken
(Paperback)
On the surface, Ken Baker seemed a model man. He was a nationally ranked hockey goalie; a Hollywood correspondent for People; a guest-lister at celebrity parties; and girls came on to him. Inside, though, he didn't feel like the man he was supposed to be.Although attracted to women, Ken had little sex drive and thus even less of a sex life. To his anguish, he repeatedly found himself unable to perform sexually. And, regardless of strenuous workouts, his body struggled to build muscle, earning him the nickname "Pear" from his macho teammates. Physically, matters turned bizarre when he discovered that he was lactating.The testosterone-driven culture in which Ken grew up made it agonizingly difficult for him to seek help. But in time he discovered something that lifted years of pain, frustration, and confusion: a brain tumor was causing his body to be flooded with massive amounts of a female hormone, which was disabling his masculinity. Five hours of surgery accomplished what years of therapy, rumination, and denial could not -- and allowed Ken Baker to finally feel -- and function -- like a man.
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