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I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual
In this hilarious book of essays, comedian, activist, and hugely popular culture blogger Luvvie Ajayi inspires us to good behavior, one sharp and funny side-eye at a time.The go-to source for bracingly smart takes on pop culture at her enormously popular blog AwesomelyLuvvie.com, she has also become a bulwark of good humor and crucial common sense at what can seem a common sense-free time. I'm Judging You dissects our cultural obsessions and calls out bad behavior in our increasingly digital, connected lives. With a lighthearted, rapier wit and a unique perspective it’s the handbook the world needs now, doling out the hard truths and a road map for bringing some "act right" to our popular culture, social media, and our lives.
Until Donald Trump publishes the ultimate account of his entire four or eight or one-and-a-half years in the White House, the definitive chronicle will be You Can’t Spell America Without Me: The Really Tremendous Inside Story of My Fantastic First Year As President. Trump was elected because he was the most frank presidential candidate in history, a man eager to tell the unvarnished truth about others’ flaws and tout his own amazing excellence. Now he levels his refreshingly compulsive, un-PC candor at his landslide election victory as well as his role as commander-in-chief and leader of the free world.There are intimate, powerful, mind-boggling revelations on every page. You are there with him during his private encounters with world leaders, a few of whom he does not insult. You are there at the genius Oval Office strategy sessions with his advisers. You are there in his White House bedroom as he crafts the pre-dawn Twitter pronouncements that rock the world. And, of course, you are there on the golf course as Trump attempts to manage the burdens of his office. President Trump explains each of the historic decisions that have already made America great again, and how he always triumphs over the fake news media. You'll learn what he really thinks of his cabinet members and top aides not related to him, of the First Lady and the First Daughter and the additional three or four Trump children. Included at no extra charge is a lavish and exclusive portfolio of spectacular, historic and intimate color photographs of President Trump in private – inside the White House, inside Mar-a-Lago, at Trump Tower, and more. You Can’t Spell America Without Me is presented by America’s foremost Trump scholar Kurt Andersen as well as America's foremost mediocre Trump impersonator, Alec Baldwin.
Rock Critic Law: 101 Unbreakable Rules for Writing Badly About Music
Straight out of his beloved Twitter feed @RockCriticLaw, acclaimed rock journalist and author of the classic books Come As You Are: The Story of Nirvana and Our Band Could Be Your Life, Michael Azerrad turns his trenchant eye to the art of rock writing itself, hilariously skewering 101 of the genre’s seemingly endless litany of hackneyed phrases and tropes.One of the finest music writers today, Michael Azerrad has catalogued the shortcuts, lazy metaphors and uninspired prose that so many of his beloved colleagues all too regularly rely on to fill column inches. In 2014, he began his wickedly droll Twitter feed @RockCriticLaw to expose and make fun of this word-hash. Now, he consolidates these "Laws" into one witty, comprehensive and fully illustrated volume.
You Can't Spell America Without Me (Donald J. Trump - A So-Called Parody)
"I have the best words, beautiful words, as everybody has been talking and talking about for a long time. Also? The best sentences and, what do you call them, paragraphs. My previous books were great and sold extremely, unbelievably well - even the ones by dishonest, disgusting so-called journalists. But those writers didn't understand Trump, because quite frankly they were major losers. People say if you want it done right you have to do it yourself, even when 'it' is a 'memoir.' So every word of this book was written by me, using a special advanced word processing system during the many, many nights I've been forced to stay alone in the White House - only me, just me, trust me, nobody helped. And it's all 100% true, so true - people are already saying it may be the truest book ever published. Enjoy."Until Donald Trump publishes the ultimate account of his entire four or eight or one-and-a-half years in the White House, the definitive chronicle will be You Can’t Spell America Without Me: The Really Tremendous Inside Story of My Fantastic First Year As President. Trump was elected because he was the most frank presidential candidate in history, a man eager to tell the unvarnished truth about others’ flaws and tout his own amazing excellence. Now he levels his refreshingly compulsive, un-PC candor at his landslide election victory as well as his role as commander-in-chief and leader of the free world.There are intimate, powerful, mind-boggling revelations on every page. You are there with him during his private encounters with world leaders, a few of whom he does not insult. You are there at the genius Oval Office strategy sessions with his advisers. You are there in his White House bedroom as he crafts the pre-dawn Twitter pronouncements that rock the world. And, of course, you are there on the golf course as Trump attempts to manage the burdens of his office.President Trump explains each of the historic decisions that have already made America great again, and how he always triumphs over the fake news media. You'll learn what he really thinks of his cabinet members and top aides not related to him, of the First Lady and the First Daughter and the additional three or four Trump children. Included at no extra charge is a lavish and exclusive portfolio of spectacular, historic and intimate color photographs of President Trump in private – inside the White House, inside Mar-a-Lago, at Trump Tower, and more.
Few classic works of literature have excited such enduring popular interest among the general public as Frankenstein. But suppose the characters—Victor Frankenstein, Captain Robert Walton, and, yes, even the “monster"—had shared their tale in tweets? #Frankenstein; Or, The Modern Prometheus in Tweets hilariously reimagines Mary Shelley's classic gothic novel in about two hundred tweets, each 280 characters or less.In this witty abridgment, Victor Frankenstein's quest to create a sentient being is retold with the occasional emoji. The plight of his monstrous creation is presented with internet acronyms. And Captain Robert Walton ponders the blinding power of ambition with hashtags.Including an appendix that presents the original passages upon which each tweet is derived, #Frankenstein offers modern readers an entertaining and accessible companion to a great American classic.
Forbidden Knowledge: 101 Things No One Should Know How to Do
More than 100 hilarious and ridiculous things that you should never, ever do in real life.We all know that we should never fight a tiger or become a mafia boss, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t funny and fascinating to learn about. Forbidden Knowledge offers a collection of the most ridiculous things that you should never attempt in real life—but will make you laugh none the less. You’ll learn everything from how to take over a cult to swimming with piranhas to how to build an atomic bomb or escape from prison.Forbidden Knowledge invites you to embrace the absurd with pranks that are sure to make you laugh. With over 100 extremely bad ideas that you should never do, this entertaining and light-hearted book makes each hilarious scenario so much fun to imagine.
Long Story Short: 100 Classic Books in Three Panels
Literature is long. Comics are short.Does Proust get you down? Do you find The Unbearable Lightness of Being simply unbearable? Is The Inferno your own private hell? Do you long to be conversant about classics like Moby Dick, the Bhagavad Gita, Madame Bovary, and, um, Twilight?Bestselling illustrator Lisa Brown (The Airport Book; Baby, Mix Me a Drink) did her homework. Long Story Short offers 100 pithy and skewering three-panel literary summaries, from curriculum classics like Don Quixote, Lord of the Flies, and Jane Eyre to modern favorites like Beloved, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, and Atonement, conveniently organized by subjects including “Love,” “Sex,” “Death,” and “Female Trouble.” Lisa Brown’s Long Story Short is the perfect way to turn a traipse through what your English teacher called “the canon” into a frolic—or to happily cram for the next occasion that requires you to appear bookish and well-read.
I Hate Everyone
It's true: Misery does love company. But what kind of company can you keep if you can't stand anyone? This kind. No matter who they are or what they do that sets you off and gets you going, you'll find 'em inside. From rich people who are dicks to guys named Rich who go by Dick to those who are always cold to people who are just hot, no one is safe. But one thing is certain - everyone will find someone they equally despise. And you're gonna love it, period.
Modern life is abuzz. There are huge LCD WiFi HD TVs and Facebook requests and thumbs tapping texts and new viral clips of cats doing flips. Wouldn't it be nice to say goodnight to all that? Like the rest of us who cannot resist just a few more scrolls and clicks, you may find yourself ready for bed while still clinging to your electronics long after dark. This book, which is made of paper, is a reminder for the child in all of us to power down at the end of the day. This hilarious parody not only pokes loving fun at the bygone quiet of the original classic, but also at our modern plugged-in lives. It will make you laugh, and it will also help you put yourself and your machines to sleep. Don't worry, though. Your gadgets will be waiting for you, fully charged, in the morning.
Slothilda: Living the Sloth Life
From former Simpsons animator Dante Fabiero comes a charming collection of comics about an ambitious little sloth who'd rather just take it easy. With themes related to work, fitness, food, shopping, home life, and pets - this book shows that you're not the only sloth at heart.
Comics for a Strange World: A Book of Poorly Drawn Lines
In his follow up to the New York Times bestselling Poorly Drawn Lines, beloved webcomic artist Reza Farazmand returns with a new collection of comics that hilariously skewers our modern age. Comics for a Strange World takes readers through time, space, and alternate realities, reuniting fans with favorite characters and presenting them with even more bizarre scenarios. A child is arrested for plagiarism. A squirrel adapts to human society by purchasing a cell phone - and a gun. And an old man shares memories of the Internet with his granddaughter (“A vast network of millions of idiots. Together, the idiots created endless shitty ideas. It was a true renaissance of shit.”). In the world of Poorly Drawn Lines, nothing is too weird or too outlandish for parody.Featuring 50% brand new content alongside some of the most popular comics of the past year, Comics for a Strange World is the perfect antidote to life’s absurdities.
Judgmental Maps: Your City. Judged.
Your City. Judged A sharp tongued and fierce witted full-color collection of maps of America’s greatest cities in all their brutally honest glory. When you move to a new city you look at a map to get you where you need to be, but a Google Map of San Francisco won’t tell you where you can get “Real Dim Sum” or where “The Worst Trader Joes Ever” is. Or if you’re visiting Chicago, you might want to see the Magnificent Mile, but not know it’s right next to where “Suburbanites Buy Drugs” and “Retired Mafioso.” This is where Judgmental Maps comes in – a no holds barred look at city life that is at once a love letter and hate mail from the very people who live there. What started as a joke between comedian Trent Gillaspie and his friends in Denver, quickly grew into a viral sensation with a rabid and enthusiastic community labeling maps of their cities with names and descriptions we all think of, but are a bit too shy to say out loud. Collected here in a full color, beautifully packaged book with all new, never before published material, Judgmental Maps is laugh out loud funny from New York to Los Angeles, Minneapolis to Atlanta and offending everyone else in between.
Goodnight Trump: A Parody
Goodnight Trump opens in the very classy golden bedroom of the White House, where it is bedtime for the 45th President of the United States. Readers can encourage this very stable genius to bid goodnight to some of his favorite treasures: a drawer overflowing with subpoenas, a Russian nesting doll that opens page by page to reveal a secret message, a thriving swamp just outside his window, and much more.Turn out the lights on Trump's America with this hilarious yet poignant call to action.
How to Survive a Horror Movie
Are you reading this in a cornfield, at a summer camp, or in an abandoned mental institution? Have you noticed that everything is poorly lit, or that music surges every time you open a door? If the answer is yes, you're probably trapped in a horror movie. But don't freak out-just read this book! With it you will learn how to overcome every obstacle found in scary films, including-.How to determine what type of horror film you're trapped in.The five types of slashers and how to defeat them. How to handle killer dolls, murderous automobiles, and other haunted objects. How to deal with alien invasions, zombie apocalypses, and other global threats. What to do if you did something last summer, if your corn has children in it, or if you suspect you're already dead
The Woulda Coulda Shoulda Guide to Canadian Inventions
The author of How to Do Everything and Red Green's Beginner's Guide to Women has never been reluctant to take on enormously difficult jobs that are doomed to failure. This latest project has turned out to be perhaps his nearest thing to a triumph yet. In Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda, Red surveys, analyzes, critiques and in some cases tells you how to replicate at home the best Canadian inventions, from the Wonderbra to the hard-cup jockstrap, by way of insulin, the walkie-talkie, synchronised swimming and more world-changing innovations than you can wave a Canadarm at.And speaking of the Canadarm, Red shows how by simply combining common household items such as a cordless drill, metal tape measure, broomstick, ice tongs, bungee cord, fishing reel and, of course, the handiman's secret weapon--duct tape--you will in no time at all be lifting oranges out of the fruit bowl like a trained astronaut. Elsewhere, Red tells the little-known story of how the BlackBerry inspired a freelance piccolo player from the Possum Lake area to create a WhistleBerry communication device requiring no internet connection, wireless or electricity. He explains definitively the difference between the alkaline battery and Al Kaline, who played right field for the Detroit Tigers. And he reveals how Lodge Member Dennis Holmsworth's test-run of magnetic shoes along the underside of the Mercury Creek Railway Bridge literally came undone as a result of poor lace-tying skills. The illustrations are inimitably--because really, who else would want to?--the work of the author himself, relieved throughout with a large number of photographs in vivid black and white. An important contribution to the sesquicentennial celebrations, and an inspiration to the handiman and handiwoman to aim high, however badly they might miss, The Woulda Coulda Shoulda Guide to Canadian Inventions is a book no shed should be without.
That is All
Bestselling author Hodgman completes his vision with "That Is All," the last book in a trilogy of Complete World Knowledge. Like its predecessors, this book compiles incredibly handy made-up facts into brief articles, overlong lists, and beguiling narratives on new and familiar themes.
Black Man, White House: An Oral History of the Obama Years
Hughley, D. L.
For two centuries, presidents hoping to secure their legacies have sought out biographers. But who could possibly capture the inspiring yet bizarre reality of the first black man to call the White House his crib, a tenure that brought hope, change, and health care to millions, but also spawned birthers, backlash, and the bewildering rise of Donald Trump? Thankfully, as the end of President Barack Obama’s pioneering two terms in office drew near, the First Lady had a stroke of genius: “Honey, all these presidential biographies are written by old white guys. Why not hook a brother up for once?”Enter D.L. Hughley. When the comedy legend got the call from the White House, he knew this was the assignment of a lifetime. Of course he would become a political biographer: what else could his decades of experience bringing unflinching truth and hilarity to the American people have been building toward?And so D.L. proudly raised his finger to “The System”* and set out to record a true and accurate** oral history of the Obama years, interviewing everyone from Obama’s esteemed Democratic colleagues in Washington to Republican pols who dare not speak his name and segments of the “conservative base” who have irrefutable proof that Obama is a Kenyan-born Muslim and Saddam Hussein’s second cousin thrice removed AND a Coldplay fan. Protected by the Patriot Act and the promise of a presidential pardon, Hughley bitch-slapped virtually every rule of journalism in pursuit of his mission: hacking into Hillary Clinton’s private e-mail server; infiltrating Trump’s tanning sessions; staking out each of Mitt Romney’s 752 mansions; even eavesdropping on Bill Clinton’s late-night escapades.At the end of it all, Hughley had bravely assembled an explosive dossier that would make Edward Snowden (and even the NSA) blush. Black Man, White House is the culmination of these extraordinary comedic efforts, an authoritative work on the Obama presidency that is destined to enlighten and entertain patriots, scholars, and Yes-We-Can’ers for generations to come.
The Importance of Being Ernie (and Bert) (The Sesame Street Guide to Life)
The eternal question: Are you a Bert or an Ernie? You’ll find out thanks to The Importance of Being Ernie (and Bert). And this book will show you how to be best friends with those who wear their stripes a little differently.Bert and Ernie have been friends and roommates on Sesame Street for decades, despite very different approaches to life’s challenges and joys. One collects jokes, the other collects paperclips. One loves pigeons, the other his Rubber Duckie. One sees the bathtub half-full, the other needs to empty it so he can give it a good scrub. But they both agree that having a best buddy is worth all the daily ups and downs.There are no better experts on living together and learning together. Their guide to friendship will make the perfect gift for any Bert or Ernie in your life.
The Joy of Cookies: Cookie Monster's Guide to Life Sesame Street)
In life, there is one thing we can all agree on: cookies. And there is no greater expert on this endless source of joy, warmth, and crumbs than Cookie Monster. In The Joy of Cookies, Cookie Monster offers deep thoughts on life, friendship, baking, and the love of cookies. He serves as our guide to all things cookie and shares how best to fully experience the joy cookies bring us.
The Pursuit of Grouchiness: Oscar the Grouch's Guide to Life (Sesame Street)
There’s no greater expert on celebrating a crummy day than Oscar the Grouch. After complaining about cheerfulness for decades from his trash can on Sesame Street, Oscar now shares his secrets for making sure you’re as curmudgeonly as possible, all day, every day.It's the perfect gift for your grouchy friends, your annoyingly upbeat friends who could stand to be a little grouchier, and even just yourself - because a bad day can always get worse.Now get lost! And have a rotten day!
The White Man's Guide to White Male Writers of the Western Canon
Katzenstein, Jason Adam (Ilt)
How do you use ‘taraddidle’ in a sentence? Is it possible to make a Gin Ricky that’s also a metaphor for the American Dream? How can you tell your Faulkner from your Franzen if you haven’t actually read either?Allow me, the @GuyInYourMFA, to expound on the most important (aka white male) writers of western literature. You’ve probably seen me around, observing the masses, or defying the wind by hand-rolling a cigarette outside a local, fair-trade coffeeshop. I’ve actually read Infinite Jest 9 1/2 times. Care to discuss?From Shakespeare's greatest mystery (how could a working-class man without access to an MFA program be so prolific?) to the true meaning of Kafkaesque (you know you've made it when you have an adjective named for you), the pages herewith are at once profound and practical. Use my ingenious Venn diagram to test your knowledge of which Jonathan—Franzen, Lethem, or Safran Foer—hates Twitter and lives in Brooklyn. (Trick question: all 3!) Sneer at chick-lit and drink Mojitos like Hemingway (not like middle-aged divorcées!).So instead of politely nodding along next time you make an acquaintance at a housewarming party in Brooklyn, you can roll up your sleeves and get to work schooling them in character arcs and the experimental form of your next great American novel. Dazzle your friends with how well you understand post-modernism. You’ll be at a literary event asking a question “that’s really more of a comment” in no time.
Race Me in a Lobster Suit: Absurd Internet Ads and the Real Conversations that Followed
This collection of prank Craigslist ads and the real email exchanges that followed is the perfect gift for fans of offbeat humor.
Raising Unicorns: Your Step-by-Step Guide to Starting and Running a Successful - and Magical! - Unicorn Farm
Marquis, Jessica S
Welcome to the whimsical and very lucrative world of unicorn farming! This is an industry like no other with potential limited only by your imagination. As a future unicorn farmer, you will experience the wide and unique array of opportunities, challenges, and joys of caring for these majestic creatures.In this book, author Jessica S. Marquis provides everything you need to know to make a good living as a unicorn farmer. From choosing the right breed (Purebred; Twinkletoe; Karmic; Gigglerump; Horse with Horn) to picking the unicorn farm dream team (an alchemist; stable hands; groomers; The On-Call Virgin (OCV); lawyers), you are guaranteed to have a magical journey. The only reference of its kind, this book proves you can live in fantasyland - and still make money.
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