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How is legislation crafted? How do you lose an election? What do “bundler,” “quorum call” and “omnibus” mean? Why do some of the White House’s most important meetings occur at a Starbucks? Why are Washington insiders obsessed with something called Jumbo Slice? What, exactly, is a “skintern?” Eliot Nelson, one of Washington’s funniest and most admired young journalists, knows how the sausage factory works and his new book, The Beltway Bible, is every citizen's must-have owner’s manual. Arranged from A to Z, The Beltway Bible provides an insider's perspective of politics and government, breaking down both into easily-digested entries on subjects like how legislation is formed, the scope of the president’s power and an overview of federal agencies. Nelson also looks at D.C.'s less-well-known power structures: the internal pecking order of White House aides, the high school cafeteria power struggles behind party invites and the petty congressional arguments over how highway on-ramps are named. The Beltway Bible makes our complex government accessible in a way that will please everyone from Jon Stewart to John Doe.
Everybody Is Awful (Except You!)
A rant-ish memoir by the veteran stand-up comedian and former cohost of That Metal Show.
Get Over It! (Big Mouth)
Get Over It! is a book that includes funny photographs of animals that tell it like it is. A fun read for anyone who loves animals and who needs a good laugh.
Odd Trumps: Pop Culture Gone Weird
Have you ever wondered who would win in a fight between Donald Lump and Hillary Klingon? Or who might triumph in a battle between Miley Virus and Lay-Z?Finally you can put these arguments to rest with this brilliantly illustrated and cruelly funny compendium of pop culture gone weird, from cult cartoonists The Ward Brothers.
Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confessions
Forgive him, Father, for Stephen Colbert has sinned. He knew it was wrong at the time. But he went ahead and did it anyway. Now he’s begging for forgiveness. Based on his popular segment from The Late Show, Stephen Colbert and his team of writers now reveal his most shameful secrets to millions (although, actually, he’d like you not to tell anyone). Midnight Confessions is an illustrated collection of Stephen Colbert at his most brilliant and irreverent.
Tales from the Crib: Adventures of an Over-Sharing, Stressed-Out, Modern-Day Mom
Let’s be honest. Nobody wants to sit next to that chipper mom at playgroup who knows everything. Please. You want to plop down by the mom who’s just as clueless and cranky as you are and have a good, hearty, conspiratorial laugh together. Because that mom gets it. That mom makes you feel better. That mom isn’t afraid to admit that chicken nuggets are one of her household’s major food groups (though she is fraught with guilt over it). That mom is just like you.That mom is DeeDee Filiatreault?a regular housewife with fairly normal kids (if there is such a thing). But unlike you, she writes all her ridiculous family stuff down (for her newspaper column and blog) with wit, snark, heart, faith, and far fewer swear words than she’s probably thinking. Her writings have yet to appear in the New Yorker or HuffPo, she doesn’t go on morning shows to dole out parenting advice (mainly because she doesn’t really have any), and she doesn’t have a weird, new hook for a ?mom-oir”?like how she survived a year of family dumpster-diving or co-parenting her children with wolves. She doesn’t have eighteen kids either, just two. And oh yeah, only one husband (as required by state law).This collection of DeeDee’s favorite columns and writings spans her first near-decade in the mom business. Reading it is like plunking down next to that funny mom at playgroup. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll feel less lonely in this thing. And you may even feel a little superior. (That alone might be worth the price tag.) Just come and sit down next to her.
The Chapo Guide to Revolution: A Manifesto Against Logic, Facts, and Reason
House, Ckhapo Trap
The creators of the cult-hit podcast Chapo Trap House deliver a manifesto for everyone who feels orphaned and alienated - politically, culturally, and economically - by the lanyard-wearing Wall Street centrism of the left and the lizard-brained atavism of the right: there is a better way, the Chapo Way.In a guide that reads like “a weirder, smarter, and deliciously meaner version of The Daily Show’s 2004 America (The Book)” (Paste), Chapo Trap House shows you that you don’t have to side with either sinking ships. These self-described “assholes from the internet” offer a fully ironic ideology for all who feel politically hopeless and prefer broadsides and tirades to reasoned debate.Learn the “secret” history of the world, politics, media, and everything in-between that THEY don’t want you to know and chart a course from our wretched present to a utopian future where one can post in the morning, game in the afternoon, and podcast after dinner without ever becoming a poster, gamer, or podcaster.A book that’s “as intellectually serious and analytically original as it is irreverent and funny” (Glenn Greenwald, New York Times bestselling author of No Place to Hide) The Chapo Guide to Revolution features illustrated taxonomies of contemporary liberal and conservative characters, biographies of important thought leaders, “never before seen” drafts of Aaron Sorkin’s Newsroom manga, and the ten new laws that govern Chapo Year Zero (everyone gets a dog, billionaires are turned into Soylent, and logic is outlawed). If you’re a fan of sacred cows, prisoners being taken, and holds being barred, then this book is NOT for you. However, if you feel disenfranchised from the political and cultural nightmare we’re in, then Chapo, let’s go…
Few classic works of literature have excited such enduring popular interest among the general public as Frankenstein. But suppose the characters—Victor Frankenstein, Captain Robert Walton, and, yes, even the “monster"—had shared their tale in tweets? #Frankenstein; Or, The Modern Prometheus in Tweets hilariously reimagines Mary Shelley's classic gothic novel in about two hundred tweets, each 280 characters or less.In this witty abridgment, Victor Frankenstein's quest to create a sentient being is retold with the occasional emoji. The plight of his monstrous creation is presented with internet acronyms. And Captain Robert Walton ponders the blinding power of ambition with hashtags.Including an appendix that presents the original passages upon which each tweet is derived, #Frankenstein offers modern readers an entertaining and accessible companion to a great American classic.
The Jumbo Duct Tape Book
Did you know that duct tape can turn any item of clothing into rainwear? With two-thirds of the material drawn from their books and calendars and one-third all new, "The Jumbo Duct Tape Book" is over 450 pages of duct tape tips, sightings, and breathtakingly stupid ideas. It's Jim and Tim's wackiest and tackiest collection ever.
The Rules: A Man's Guide to Life (Esquire)
Deeply buried in the stacks of Esquire's research library is a leather-bound tome engraved with two simple words: The Rules. On the third Tuesday of every month, an Esquire staff member delves into the tome and returns to the office with several wise maxims to offer or faithful readers. The rules run the gamut of the code of human conduct, from things athletic to things zoological. What we offer here is a collection of 688 of the best of the best rules, revised and expanded, and now illustrated with color photographs.
Tiny Gentle Asians
Photos of cute babies have the unique power to unite humanity in one collective "naww". This is the very forefront of chubby-cheek photojournalism.In our current global political climate, we are exposed daily to horrible images of war and pain. Then sometimes, mercifully, we are thrown a lifeline. The viral Instagram account Tiny Gentle Asians is precisely one such lifeline. It's a suite of fun and uplifting images, showcasing adorable pictures of babies - often chubby to the point of absurd - taken by doting mothers across Asia. "It's the best site," says Chelsea Handler, comedian and TV royalty. "Every morning there's a new fat nugget." The sassy captions which accompany each image are written by Melissa Kenny, the mastermind behind TGA. Lately, though, she's been busy... Melissa has just undertaken her most ambitious project yet: Tiny Gentle Asians, the book! Loaded with exclusive cute content, this finally brings TGA into the physical world. Each page is a new adventure in newborns. Expect plenty of fat rolls, screwed up cheeks, dimples on dimples, implausible costumes and plenty of crying bubs. With the success of her Instagram, Melissa's life has been flooded by the endless submissions from photo-mad moms. This book is a careful curation of these submissions, as well as the fruits of her own searches. This book is sure to bring light and joy to any reader with a pulse. We thank Melissa for her noble work in bringing these tots the attention they deserve.
Klingaman, William K.
This irreverent volume employs wit and wisdom to ease the sting of reaching that half-century mark with a collection of quips, quotes, lists, and helpful hints, written by those who have faced 50 and lived to tell the tale. Contributors include Gore Vidal, Branch Rickey, George Orwell, and many others.
Upon Further Review: The Greatest What-Ifs in Sports History
From Mike Pesca, host of the popular Slate podcast The Gist, comes the greatest sports minds imagining how the world would change if a play, trade, injury, or referee's call had just gone the other way.No announcer ever proclaimed: "Up Rises Frazier!" "Havlicek commits the foul, trying to steal the ball!" or "The Giants Lose the Pennant, The Giants Lose The Pennant!" Such moments are indelibly etched upon the mind of every sports fan. Or rather, they would be, had they happened. Sports are notoriously games of inches, and when we conjure the thought of certain athletes - like Bill Buckner or Scott Norwood - we can't help but apply a mental tape measure to the highlight reels of our minds. Players, coaches, and of course fans, obsess on the play when they ask, "What if?" Upon Further Review is the first book to answer that question.Upon Further Review is a book of counterfactual sporting scenarios. In its pages the reader will find expertly reported histories, where one small event is flipped on its head, and the resulting ripples are carefully documented, the likes of...What if the U.S. Boycotted Hitler's Olympics?What if Bobby Riggs beat Billie Jean King?What if Bucky Dent popped out at the foot of the Green Monster?What if Drew Bledsoe never got hurt? Upon Further Review takes classic arguments conducted over pints in a pub and places them in the hands of dozens of writers, athletes, and historians. From turning points that every sports fan rues or celebrates, to the forgotten would-be inflection points that defined sports, Upon Further Review answers age old questions, and settles the score, even if the score bounced off the crossbar.
What the Fuzz?!: The Adventures of Fuzzberta and Friends, the World's Cutest Guinea Pigs
Fuzzberta & Friends have been taking the internet by storm with their quirky costumes and pop culture parodies. Join this guinea pig gang on a grand adventure through time and space, as they dress up in absurdly cute outfits and attempt to do (mostly) human things.This book is stuffed with so much epic cuteness it just might explode. Contents include, but are not limited to: fuzz, blorps, rocket ships, pirate ships, guitar solos, happy spaghetti, and one very terrified carrot.So sit back, grab a donut, and prepare to be amazed by the secret lives of guinea pigs.
What Would Cleopatra Do?: Life Lessons from 50 of History's Most Extraordinary Women
What Would Cleopatra Do? tackles issues by reminding us of inspiring feminists from the past, telling their stories with warmth, humor, and verve. From sticking up for yourself, improving body image, deciding whether to have children, finding a mentor, getting dumped, feeling like an imposter, being unattractive, and dealing with gossip, we can learn a lot by reading motivational stories of heroic women who, living in much tougher times through history, took control of their own destinies and made life work for them.Here are Cleopatra’s thoughts on sibling rivalry, Mae West on positive body image, Frida Kahlo on finding your style, Catherine the Great on dealing with gossip, Agatha Christie on getting dumped, Hedy Lamarr on being underestimated - to list only a few - as well as others who address dilemmas including career-planning, female friendship, loneliness, financial management, and political engagement.Featuring whimsical illustrations by L.A.-based artist Bijou Karman, What Would Cleopatra Do? is a distinctive, witty, and gift-worthy tribute to history’s outstanding women.
You're on Your Way!: An Original Mad Libs Adventure
You're on your way... but to where?! You may not have all of life's answers yet, but you'll have fun figuring them out with this unique book from Mad Libs.Our first-ever illustrated hardcover Mad Libs is an instant classic! It's the perfect gift for recent grads--it doesn't matter if it's elementary school, high school, med school, or NOUN school! Anyone celebrating a milestone will love filling in the blanks of this one-of-a-kind book that honors life's ADJECTIVE achievements. Buy it as a gift or buy it for yourself and have fun filling in the blanks of your own story.
Bachelor Parties and Best Man Speeches
Congratulations, your best friend has made you his best man, but with great power comes great responsibility. You need to send the groom off with a bang and Bachelor Parties and Best Man Speeches is here to help. Packed with ideas for a range of different bachelor parties—from Vegas blow-outs to country escapes—every stage of the event is covered in depth, making sure you and your friends have the best time possible. And then there’s the speech; the time when the pressure is really on as all eyes are upon you. With advice on what to say and what not to say (ex-girlfriends are definitely off-limits!), who to thank, how to write jokes, dealing with nerves, and more, you’ll be able to write a first-class speech that will make your groom proud to have chosen you as his best man.
Slothilda: Living the Sloth Life
From former Simpsons animator Dante Fabiero comes a charming collection of comics about an ambitious little sloth who'd rather just take it easy. With themes related to work, fitness, food, shopping, home life, and pets - this book shows that you're not the only sloth at heart.
Reader's Digest Dumb Dad Jokes: Something for Everyone from 6 to 106
Is your dad funny? Is he funny looking? Just kidding. In the Reader's Digest Dumb Dad Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 6 to 106.
A fun, intelligent, and useful guide to understanding the nuanced language of soccer.Every week, year-round, legions of devoted soccer fans across the country rise at the crack of dawn or quietly sneak out of work to watch their favorite teams play across the pond - complete with a soundtrack of two cheeky Englishmen spouting a stream of trite phrases and curious words that make maddeningly little sense. They’ll chat about flying teacups and cultured left feet, or point out a player who’s jinking through the corridor of uncertainty, hoping to bag one with aplomb. Confused? Many Brits are, too.In Football Clichés, London-based soccer writer Adam Hurrey amusingly translates the idioms of the sport, from the quaint to the ridiculous. Here you’ll find words for parts of the field and parts of the body; for ways to score a goal and ways to run, walk, or fake an injury. You’ll learn to read the shifting moods of fans at a soccer match and encounter the game’s oddly expressive gestures, which include the muted celebration and the beleaguered manager clap. Perfect for the die-hard or fair-weather fan, Football Clichés celebrates the world of soccer in all its glory.
A hilarious, in-your-face guide to the online universe from the BEAST of the internet, YouTube superstar KSI.It's your boy KSI! And I've got a confession to make. I. AM. A. Tool.Yes, I've committed crimes against the internet: excessively posting selfies, oversharing about my dead nana, spending all day scouring Tinder and suffering FIFA rage.But my therapist tells me that with acceptance comes salvation, so now I'm going to blow the doors off the internet to find the cure. Hold on to your balls while I take down fellow YouTubers, trolls, pervs, catfishers, and Nigerian scammers in an all-out assault on the online universe.Also, do you want to know how I became a YouTube kingpin? Back away, mo-fo, that title is mine! Jokes . . . I'll show you how to be a baller on YouTube, the best ways to get paid online, and how you can make the internet yours.Prepare to laugh, be horrified, and cry to your mom. This is going to get messy. What did you expect? A book full of blank pages, lame challenges, and really deep lifestyle tips? Do me a favor. This sh*t is legit!
Kind of Coping: An Illustrated Look at Life with Anxiety
Maureen “Marzi” Wilson - the popular Instagram cartoonist behind Introvert Doodles - is back with a brand-new collection of hilarious, relatable, and heartwarming doodles about anxiety that show you that you are not alone. If you struggle with anxiety, you may feel like it’s you against the world all the time. Sometimes, your anxiety can be too much to handle all at once - wouldn’t it be nice to have someone around that understood exactly what you were going through?Meet Marzi! She struggles with anxiety just like you. In Kind of Coping, join Marzi as she (kind of) copes with her own anxiety from day to day, finding the humor in her condition with this collection of funny, encouraging, and supportive comics that show you the best you can do sometimes is just kind of cope - and that’s totally OK!Whether it’s a panic attack or an awkward social snafu, Marzi knows what you are going through. With over 150 full-color doodles that deliver hope and inspiration, unconditional support, and big laughs, let Marzi share her journey with you.
Laughing All The Way To The Mosque
Zarqa Nawaz has always straddled two cultures. She’s just as likely to be agonizing over which sparkly earrings will "pimp out" her hijab as to be flirting with the Walmart meat manager in a futile attempt to secure halal chicken the day before Eid. "Little Mosque on the Prairie" brought Zarqa’s own laugh-out-loud take on her everyday culture clash to viewers around the world. And now, in Laughing All the Way to the Mosque, she tells the sometimes absurd, sometimes challenging, always funny stories of being Zarqa in a western society. From explaining to the plumber why the toilet must be within sitting arm’s reach of the water tap (hint: it involves a watering can and a Muslim obsession with cleanliness "down there") to urging the electrician to place an eye-height electrical socket for her father-in-law’s epilepsy-inducing light-up picture of the Kaaba, Zarqa paints a hilarious portrait of growing up in a household where, according to her father, the Quran says it’s okay to eat at McDonald’s - but only if you order the McFish.
0 key lessons explained in the time it takes to use the toilet.Let’s face it, we’ve all got a few gaps in our knowledge that we’d like to fill—the sort of things we know we should know, but never got round to learning. Perhaps you are never quite sure of exactly what caused World War 1 or were always embarrassed to admit you thought David Copperfield was a magician's autobiography. Maybe you used to be able to calculate the circumference of a circle but have forgotten, or always wanted to understand Freud’s theory of psychoanalysis. So, what better time to start learning than while on the loo? We’ve taken 50 subjects and summarized them into easily digestible chunks—the perfect length to educate while you defecate. Get ready to expand your mind while you contract your bowels and to get smart while you fart. It’s time to hit the books…
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