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Four-time Emmy winner Mike Reiss—who has worked on The Simpsons continuously since episode one in 1989—shares stories, scandals, and gossip about working with America’s most iconic cartoon family ever. Reiss explains how the episodes are created, and provides an inside look at the show’s writers, animators, actors and celebrity guests. He answers a range of questions from Simpsons fans and die-hards, and reminisces about the making of perennially favorite episodes.In his freewheeling, irreverent comic style, Reiss reflects on his lifetime inside The Simpsons—a personal highlights reel of his achievements, observations, and favorite stories. Springfield Confidential exposes why Matt Groening decided to make all of the characters yellow; dishes on what it’s like to be crammed in a room full of funny writers sixty hours a week; and tells what Reiss learned after traveling to seventy-one countries where The Simpsons is watched (ironic note: there’s no electricity in many of these places); and even reveals where Springfield is located! He features unique interviews with Judd Apatow, who also provided the foreword, and Conan O'Brien, as well as with Simpsons legends Al Jean, Nancy Cartwright, Dan Castellaneta, and more.Like Cary Elwes’ As You Wish, Jennifer Keishin Armstrong’s Seinfeldia, and Chris Smith’s The Daily Show: An Oral History, Springfield Confidential is a funny, informational, and exclusive look at one of the most beloved programs in all of television land.
Has it been months since you’ve read a book with actual adult words that had nothing to do with farm animals or superheroes or going potty? Well then, it’s time to take a break. Pour yourself some wine. Put on your comfy pants. All good? Ok, welcome to the party.Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley, the creators of #IMOMSOHARD, know that you probably didn’t get to shower today and that the last thing you need is more advice on how to be a better parent. Instead, they invite you to join their laugh-out-loud, best friend banter on the eighty bajillion ways moms give their all every day—including:I KEEP IT TOGETHER SO HARDI BODY AFTER BABY SO HARDI HIT THE TOWN (AND AM IN BED BY 9:30 P.M.) SO HARDI BUST MY ASS SO HARDI KEEP FOOLS ALIVE SO HARDCome for the laughs, stay for the kinship with two friends who are just getting it right, getting it wrong, and leaning on each other for a laugh at the end of the day. They don’t care if your house is a mess and they won’t judge you if you pee a little when you sneeze. So kick back, relax, and enjoy. You deserve it.
Good Talk, Dad: The Birds and the Bees...and Other Conversations We Forgot to Have
Bill Geist--the beloved, award-winning, long-time special correspondent for "CBS: Sunday Morning," whose debut Little League Confidential was a New York Times bestseller in hardcover and paper--and Willie Geist, the Today Show host, popular member of MSNBC's "Morning Joe," and author of the best-selling American Freak Show--have begun an extended conversation between father and son on areas of mutual interest, agreement, and disagreement.Told in a unique back-and-forth banter style, the hilarious father-son team will laugh together at the shared journey of their relationship. They'll riff on fatherhood, religion, music, sports, summer camp disasters, driving lessons gone horribly wrong, being on TV, and their wonderfully odd family life. Think Big Russ and Me (May 2010, 345,829 net per bookscan) meets S*** My Dad Says, with humorous observations about professional wrestling as a worldview, raising a kid with television cameras in the kitchen, and anything and everything else that comes to their witty minds.The Geists decided to write this book so their children and grandchildren would have a record of their unusual father-son relationship. The book is remarkably funny, as well as poignant and sincere, especially in light of Bill's announcement that he's been diagnosed with Parkinson's. With its lighthearted look at the crazy things fathers and sons go through and the unique bond those experiences forge, the book is sure to be a must-have gift for Father's Day.
The Vegucation of Robin - How Real Food Saved My Life
Beloved for her big sense of humor and even bigger laugh, radio superstar Robin Quivers rocked the entertainment world in 2013 when she revealed that she was recovering from an aggressive form of cancer - and that she credited her plant based diet with making her body a healthy and resilient enough to survive against the odds. Now, she shares the secrets behind her victory over the high-fat, high sugar, high cholesterol, highly additive foods that almost put her into an early grave. On her sometimes rocky - but always endearingly funny - path to newfound health, Robin filled up on soul-filling, cell-nourishing vegetables instead of damaging animal products and processed foods. Charting her inspiring road to wellness, The Vegucation of Robinis both Robin's manifesto and your own road map to health, including: Instructions on how to kick your immune system into gear with a juice cleanse More than ninety of Robin's favorite delicious and easy plant based recipes, like refreshing Chilled Soba Noddle Saladwith Grilled Pineapple and Avocados; hearty Roasted Cauliflower with Tarragon and Lemon;and decadent delectableChocolate Coconut Mousse. The case for going plant-based, with undeniable proof that you can't build something living from something dead With her signature humor and wit, Quivers proves that the key to having the life you've always wanted lies not with your doctor but in your kitchen. Putting a new face on the pro-veggie movement, The Vegucation of Robinwill dazzle readers who want to look good, feel good, and have fun doing it.
How to Leave: Quitting the City and Coping with a New Reality
An uproarious memoir/tongue-in-cheek guide to leaving the cool city in which you "found" yourself and moving somewhere far more ordinary.So you escaped whatever humdrum little town you grew up in and moved to The Big City. Maybe it was New York. Maybe it was Seattle or Kansas City. Wherever it was, there was amazing stuff everywhere you turned: Ethiopian food! A movie theater that played documentaries! A hairstylist who knew what to do with frizz! You overlooked the proximity of your kitchen to your bed, and the fact that you had to take public transportation to see nature.But then you got a job offer you couldn't refuse. Or you developed asthma. Or you got pregnant. Or you got pregnant for the second time and you couldn't use your closet as a bedroom for two babies. And you decided you had to leave.When Frank Sinatra and Alicia Keys said that if you could make it in New York, you could make it anywhere, they probably weren't talking about whatever suburb you used to make fun of. Because it's hard to "make it" without world-class museums and gourmet food trucks. Erin Clune regales readers with priceless stories of her own experiences leaving New York for her hometown in Wisconsin, and provides a jocular but useful guide--for anyone leaving, or thinking about leaving, their own personal mecca--to finding contentment while staying true to yourself in a place far, far away from The City.
You Herd Me!: I'll Say It If Nobody Else Will
In this age of billion dollar athletic marketing campaigns, "feel good" philosophy with no connection to reality, and a Sports Media echo chamber that’s all too eager swallow whatever idiotic notion happens to be in vogue at the moment, it’s tough to find people who aren’t afraid to say what they’re really thinking. But that’s where Colin Cowherd comes in. As his millions of fans on ESPN Radio and ESPNU already know, Colin is the rare sports analyst who’s brave (or crazy) enough to speak his mind - even if it pisses some people off. Of course, it helps that a lot of what Colin has to say is simply hilarious. Lots of writers can tell you about Boston’s storied sports history. But how many can tell you why the city of Boston is America’s five year old? Lots of writers will brag about the stuff they got right, but how many will happily list all the calls they got completely and utterly wrong? Whether he’s pointing out the stupidity of conspiracy theories, explaining why media bias isn’t nearly as big a deal as many assume, or calling out those who prize short term wins over sustainability, Colin is smart, thought-provoking, and laugh-out-loud funny. Unapologetically entertaining and packed with behind-the-scenes insights you won’t get anywhere else, You Herd Me! is unlike any other sports book ever written.
The Darwin Awards Countdown to Extinction
The newest installment of the human race's most "devastatingly" popular humor series. The Darwin Awards are more than just a brand. They're a pop culture phenomenon. With six books and a website that draws in more than a million unique visitors every month, the Darwin Awards rivals The Onion and The Simpsons as one of the biggest humor franchises in the world. Fully illustrated and featuring all-new tales of the marvelously macabre, The Darwin Awards Countdown to Extinction chronicles the astonishing acts of individuals who have taken a swan dive into the shallow end of the gene pool. From attaching a five-horsepower engine to a barstool, to hammering a metal hook into an explosive device, to using a taser to treat a snake bite, these gloriously gruesome incidents prove that the countdown (to human extinction) is well under way. And we won't exit this mortal coil without one last laugh.
How to Survive a Horror Movie
Are you reading this in a cornfield, at a summer camp, or in an abandoned mental institution? Have you noticed that everything is poorly lit, or that music surges every time you open a door? If the answer is yes, you're probably trapped in a horror movie. But don't freak out-just read this book! With it you will learn how to overcome every obstacle found in scary films, including-.How to determine what type of horror film you're trapped in.The five types of slashers and how to defeat them. How to handle killer dolls, murderous automobiles, and other haunted objects. How to deal with alien invasions, zombie apocalypses, and other global threats. What to do if you did something last summer, if your corn has children in it, or if you suspect you're already dead
The Wrong End of the Table: A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit in
An Immigrant Love-Hate Story of What it Means to Be AmericanYou know that feeling of being at the wrong end of the table? Like you’re at a party but all the good stuff is happening out of earshot (#FOMO)? That’s life—especially for an immigrant.What happens when a shy, awkward Arab girl with a weird name and an unfortunate propensity toward facial hair is uprooted from her comfortable (albeit fascist-regimed) homeland of Iraq and thrust into the cold, alien town of Columbus, Ohio—with its Egg McMuffins, Barbie dolls, and kids playing doctor everywhere you turned?This is Ayser Salman’s story. First comes Emigration, then Naturalization, and finally Assimilation—trying to fit in among her blonde-haired, blue-eyed counterparts, and always feeling left out. On her journey to Americanhood, Ayser sees more naked butts at pre-kindergarten daycare that she would like, breaks one of her parents’ rules (“Thou shalt not participate as an actor in the school musical where a male cast member rests his head in thy lap”), and other things good Muslim Arab girls are not supposed to do. And, after the 9/11 attacks, she experiences the isolation of being a Muslim in her own country. It takes hours of therapy, fifty-five rounds of electrolysis, and some ill-advised romantic dalliances for Ayser to grow into a modern Arab American woman who embraces her cultural differences.Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
HEY, U UP? (For a Serious Relationship) - How to Turn Your Booty Call into Your Emergency Contact
Who better to write a very humorous manual about evolving modern relationships than two CollegeHumor veterans and viral-video stars who happen to be a real-life husband-and-wife team? With candor, bite, and charm, HEY, U UP? takes readers on an eight-chapter journey through the trials of hooking up to the foibles of marriage, and combines the authors’ prescriptive advice with the unfolding story of their own relationship.
Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas
It’s hard being a person, especially in a family, and no one knows that better than stand-up comedian, family man, and Live From Here head writer and performer, Tom Papa.How do you deal with a life filled with a whole host of characters and their bizarre, inescapable behavior? Especially when you’re related to them? Tom Papa is here to help you make sense of it all. Your Dad Stole My Rake is a hilarious and warm book that saws deep into every branch of the family tree and uncovers the most bizarre and surprisingly meaningful aspects of our lives. He exposes everyone, from crazy aunts with mustaches, grandparents who communicate by yelling, and uncles who use marijuana as a condiment.
Fat Girl Walking
Told through a series of larger-than-life snapshots, a hilarious memoir in essays about love, sex, marriage, motherhood, bikinis, and loving your body, no matter what size you are from the acclaimed blogger and body image advocate.Brittany Gibbons has been a plus size her whole life. But instead of hiding herself in the shadows of thinner women, Brittany became a wildly popular blogger and national spokesmodel - known for stripping on stage at TedX and standing in Times Square in a bikini on national television, and making skinny people everywhere uncomfortable.Talking honestly about size and body image on her popular blog, brittanyherself.com, she has ignited a national conversation. Now in her first book, she shares hilarious and painfully true stories about her life as a weird overweight girl growing up in rural Ohio, struggling with dating and relationships, giving the middle finger to dieting, finding love with a man smaller than her, accidentally having three kids, and figuring out the secret to loving her curves and becoming a nationally recognized body image advocate. And there’s sex, lots of it!Fat Girl Walking isn’t a diet book. It isn’t one of those former fat people memoirs about how someone battled, and won, in the fight against fat. Brittany doesn’t lose all the weight and reveal the happy, skinny girl that’s been hiding inside her. Instead, she reminds us that being chubby doesn’t mean you’ll end up alone, unhappy, or the subject of a cable medical show. What’s important is learning to love your shape. With her infectious humor and soul-baring honesty, Fat Girl Walking reveals a life full of the same heartbreak, joy, oddity, awkwardness, and wonder as anyone else’s. Just with better snacks.
Since the beginning of human history people have created myths, tall tales, superheroes, and arch-villains - men and women who embarked on insane adventures, performed extraordinary feats of unparalleled awesomeness, and overcame all odds to violently smite their foes into bloody pulp. In Badass: The Birth of a Legend, Ben Thompson compiles these fantastical tales from the beginning of time to today and tells them in the completely over-the-top manner in which they were intended.
Thank You, Goodnight
Teddy Tremble is nearing forty and has settled into a comfortable groove, working at a stuffy law firm and living in a downtown apartment with a woman he thinks he might love. Sure, his days aren’t as exciting as the time he spent as the lead singer of Tremble, the rock band known for its mega-hit “It Feels Like a Lie,” but that life has long since passed its sell-by date.But when Teddy gets a cryptic call from an old friend, he’s catapulted into contemplating the unthinkable: reuniting Tremble for one last shot at rewriting history. Never mind that the band members haven’t spoken in ten years, that they left the music scene in a blazing cloud of indifference, and that the only fans who seem to miss them reside in an obscure little town in Switzerland.If Teddy manages to snooker his band mates out of their adult lives, can a once immature, self-involved fallen idol find his way back to the top - and possibly back to the one who got away? Thank You, Goodnight is debut novelist Andy Abramowitz’s hilarious, honest, and “unfailingly heartfelt” (The Washington Post) story about love, lyrics, and finding one’s legacy in the unlikeliest of places.
The Guy's Guide to Surviving Pregnancy, Childbirth and the First Year of Fatherhood
From the moment he hears the unexpected news that the pregnancy test is positive to the end of his son's first year of life, Michael Crider is awed, anxious, and all-too-human. In between these milestones, he endures the aches and pains of his wife's pregnancy (which had a clear impact on his own bodily comfort), swallows his pride when bunny wallpaper replaces his beloved Budweiser mirror, has a short and only partially-appreciated stint as her labor coach on the Big Day, and experiences every one of his son's "firsts" as though they were his own. Honest, informative, hilarious, and heartwarming, The Guy's Guide to Surviving Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the First Year of Fatherhood is a must-read for all new parents.
Two Trains Leave Paris: Number Problems for Word People
Frey, Taylor Marie
Math is universal, but it’s also the least understood and most undervalued subject taught in school. Two Trains Leave Paris: Number Problems for Word People seeks to offer readers an opportunity to experience math like never before. You must use the Pythagorean Theorem to figure out how far apart two ex-lovers are when they simultaneously realize that they cannot live without each other. You must use addition (and logic) to explore the ridiculous (and patriarchal!) wage gap. Throughout six math-themed chapters, readers will follow a series of characters as they apply for jobs, fall in love, get abducted by aliens, and experience many of life’s other big and small moments, all of which are dictated by—you guessed it—math! With the help of humor, mathematical history, and how-to-solve sections, Two Trains Leave Paris asks readers to help its characters find growth in the most unexpected of places: word problems. And the answers are, of course, in the back.
The Ten, Make That Nine, Habits of Very Organized People. Make That Ten.: The Tweets of Steve Martin
With over 2.2 million followers (a number growing by the day), and a now famously uncanny ability to pack 140 characters with a maximum amount of humor and wit, Steve Martin has defined what it means to be a celebrity in today's world of social media. Martin's tweets have been covered by personal blogs, major news outlets, and everything in between, and this collection brings his funniest, most memorable messages--and hilarious responses from followers--together for avid followers and offline fans alike.
Nice Try: Stories of Best Intentions and Mixed Results
Emmy-Award winning writer and comedian Josh Gondelman’s collection of personal stories of best intentions and mixed results.Josh Gondelman knows a thing or two about trying - and failing. The Emmy Award-winning stand-up comic - dubbed a “pathological sweetheart” by the New York Observer - is known throughout the industry as one of comedy’s true “nice guys.” Not surprisingly, he’s endured his share of last-place finishes. But he keeps on bouncing back.In this collection of hilarious and poignant essays (including his acclaimed New York Times piece “What if I Bombed at My Own Wedding?”), Josh celebrates a life of good intentions - and mixed results. His true tales of romantic calamities, professional misfortunes, and eventual triumphs reinforce the notion: we get out of the world what we put into it. Whether he’s adopting a dog from a suspicious stranger, mitigating a disastrous road trip, or trying MDMA for the first (and only) time, Josh only wants the best for everyone - even as his attempts to do the right thing occasionally implode. Full of the warm and relatable humor that’s made him a favorite on the comedy club circuit, Nice Try solidifies Josh Gondelman’s reputation as not just a good guy, but a skilled observer of the human condition.
A Savage Life
For twenty-five years, Michael Savage has captivated listeners on his national radio show The Savage Nation, which reaches a loyal audience of more than ten million each week. In A Savage Life, the usually private man tells his own compelling story in forty-six vignettes that span his childhood to today. These tales of Savage’s journey from poor immigrant’s son in New York City to media star are deeply personal and revealing: he writes of being so poor as a child that he had to wear a dead man’s pants; of the various trials that beset his parents and “silent brother,” Jerome, who was sent to an institution; of his botanical expeditions to Fiji in the 1970’s; and, most of all, of his family, his sustaining force throughout.
The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm Postcards
Long live snarkiness! When you need to impart your wit and wisdom to the world, these 45 snippy postcards will do the trick. The brainchild of James Napoli, executive vice president of the National Sarcasm Society and creator of The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm, this cutting collection will provoke thought, inspire laughs, and make people (especially the dull ones) very uncomfortable.
Abridged Classics: Brief Summaries of Books You Were Supposed to Read but Probably Didn't
A collection of irreverent summations of more than 100 well-known works of literature, from Anna Karenina to Wuthering Heights, cleverly described in the fewest words possible and accompanied with funny color illustrations.Abridged Classics: Brief Summaries of Books You Were Supposed to Read but Probably Didn’t is packed with dozens of humorous super-condensed summations of some of the most famous works of literature from many of the world’s most revered authors, including William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Emily Brontë, Leo Tolstoy, Jane Austen, Mark Twain, J.R.R. Tolkien, Margaret Atwood, James Joyce, Plato, Ernest Hemingway, Dan Brown, Ayn Rand, and Herman Melville.From "Old ladies convince a guy to ruin Scotland" (Macbeth) to "Everyone is sad. It snows." (War and Peace), these clever, humorous synopses are sure to make book lovers smile.
When's Happy Hour?: Work Hard So You Can Hardly Work
We get it. You run shit. You can go from being blackout at drunk brunch to being ready to meet your new boyfriend’s parents in two seconds. But how do you go from being the boss of your personal life to taking charge of your career? That’s where the Betches come in.We are dedicated to making you the most successful, betchiest career woman you can be. After all, we only became Betches after we worked like, really hard. And now we’re confident enough to help you become the best. You’re welcome. You can thank us later. As New York Times bestselling author Jessica Knoll says, “I only ever want the cold, hard truth from a betch.”So whether you’re trying to become a CEO, navigate an office hookup, or just save enough money to go to happy hour twice a week, we’re here to help. It’s time to channel your inner Elle Woods, Miranda Priestly, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Per our last email, you better read this.
Faking It: How to Seem Like a Better Person Without Actually Improving Yourself
Writers of Collegehumor.com
The prevaricating pros who helped students glide through seven years of college in The CollegeHumor Guide to College are back to show post-grads how to turn life into an "Easy A" by, well, faking it. From sounding like an MBA to bribing the maitre d' to acting sensitive post-sex, here is everything aspiring equivocators need to know to B.S. their way to success in the real world.
A hilarious, honest memoir—combined with just the right amount of relationship advice—from the popular actress and host of the hit podcast Anna Faris is Unqualified.Anna Faris has advice for you. And it's great advice, because she's been through it all, and she wants to tell you what she's learned. After surviving an awkward childhood (when she bribed the fastest boy in the third grade with ice cream), navigating dating and marriage in Hollywood, and building a podcast around romantic advice, Anna has plenty of lessons to share: Advocate for yourself. Know that there are wonderful people out there and that a great relationship is possible. And, finally, don't date magicians.Her comic memoir, Unqualified, shares Anna's candid, sympathetic, and entertaining stories of love lost and won. Part memoir—including stories about being “the short girl” in elementary school, finding and keeping female friends, and dealing with the pressures of the entertainment industry and parenthood—part humorous, unflinching advice from her hit podcast, Anna Faris Is Unqualified, the book will reveal Anna's unique take on how to master the bizarre, chaotic, and ultimately rewarding world of love.Hilarious, honest, and useful, Unqualified is the book Anna's fans have been waiting for.
Wedding Toasts 101: The Guide to the Perfect Wedding Speech
As much as it’s an honor to be chosen as the best man or maid of honor at a wedding, giving the perfect speech can sometimes be nerve-wracking. Delivering a crowd-pleasing toast at the reception that has the right amount of humor and sentimentality is a daunting undertaking, no matter how advanced your public speaking skills are.Pete Honsberger’s guide to giving the perfect wedding toast provides even the most nervous of public speakers with all the tools and advice they need for writing and presenting the best toast ever. After witnessing speeches both good and bad, Honsberger shares a few bits of wisdom he’s learned along the way, providing building blocks to creating an unforgettable story along with helpful speech prompts, and the perfect checklist that will turn a potentially scary obligation into a golden opportunity.Wedding Toasts 101 presents a fun and simple way to write a successful wedding toast without all the stress so you can spend less time worrying and more time celebrating the happy couple.
Naked Pictures of Famous People
In these nineteen whip-smart essays, Jon Stewart takes on politics, religion, and celebrity with a seethingly irreverent wit, a brilliant sense of timing, and a palate for the absurd - and these one-of-a-kind forays into his hilarious world will expose you to all of its wickedly naked truths.
Wherever You Go, There They Are: Stories About My Family You Might Relate To
A hilarious new collection of essays from New York Times bestselling author Annabelle GurwitchWhen Annabelle Gurwitch was a child, surrounded by a cast of epically dysfunctional relatives, she secretly prayed that it was all a terrible mistake. Suffering from a colossal case of “family envy,” Gurwitch began seeking out other forms of community. If she’s learned anything, it’s that no matter how hard you try to escape a crazy family, you just end up in another crazy family. Using her own clan of hucksters and scam artists as inspiration, Wherever You Go, There They Are unpacks and redefines our ideas of community and belonging. In her essays, Gurwitch explores family mythologies, the fragility of sisterhood, the rituals and rites of passage into urban tribes, the seductive charm of a cult, and the spectacularly daunting search for the community where her aging parents will spend the last chapter of their lives.With a wry wit and healthy dose of irresistible self-deprecation, Gurwitch asks: Who and what makes a family in our modern society? Is it our blood relations, the people we work with, pray with, our pets? By turns hilarious and deeply moving, Wherever You Go, There They Are is an irreverent, laugh-out-loud examination of family—both those that we join unwittingly and those we join on purpose.
Ask a Native New Yorker: Hard-Earned Advice on Surviving and Thriving in the Big City
As a third-generation New Yorker who was born, bred, and educated there, Jake Dobkin was such a fan of his hometown that he started Gothamist, a popular and acclaimed website with a focus on news, events, and culture in the city, and “Ask a Native New Yorker” became one of its most popular columns. The book version features all original writing and aims to help newbies evolve into real New Yorkers with humor and a command of the facts. In 48 short essays and 11 sidebars, the book offers practical information about transportation, apartment hunting, and even cultivating relationships for anyone fresh to the Big Apple.
The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Whiny Unfed
The Toddler Survival Guide is a hilarious parody of Max Brooks's The Zombie Survival Guide (and survival guides in general) that will leave parents laughing out loud even as it provides practical advice on how they can make it to the other side of toddlerhood intact. Written by parents who have studied toddlers up-close in their natural habitat, the book will cover survival skills including how you can outfit your home to outlast a toddler occupation (baby gate, cabinet locks, wine), how you can subdue an angry toddler ("Elmo's Song," mac and cheese, smartphone) and even how you can safely venture out in public together without your toddler--or you--bursting into tears.Chapters include: Preparing the Home for a Toddler Invasion, Communicating with Your Toddler, Feeding a Toddler, Socializing Your Toddler, Grooming Your Toddler, Venturing into Public with a Toddler, Documenting Your Life with a Toddler, Vacationing with a Toddler, Toddler Entertainment and Birthdays, Surviving Bedtime and Potty Training, Technology and the Toddler, and Parental Self-Preservation.
No Drama Llama
Channel the ways of the no drama llama, the ultimate guru when it comes to leading a simplified lifestyle.Tense? Worried? Overwhelmed by the modern world? You need to meet Leroy the llama, a beast who knows a thing or two about burden. Leroy leads the alPAC(k)a when it comes to helping people quit the am-dram in favor of living a hassle-free lifestyle. Having been reared on the challenging Argentinian landscape, Leroy is as tough as anything. He can tolerate a harsh environment, but when it comes to the petty troubles of modern living, his patience wears thin. Let Leroy share his sage wisdom and special brand of blunt advice with you, and you'll soon learn how to cut the crap and live a drama-free existence.
Como te Llamas - Everyday Llamas You Might Know
A funny book of llama illustrations by artist Kristin Llamas (her real name) with personality-rich portraits of named llamas, penned in a realistic and humorous black-and-white style.Amusing, endearingly modern quips and names lend personality to each llama drawing.• Finely detailed black and white illustrations of llamas• An adorable collection of super-relatable llama portraits• A sweet gift book that allows you to find a llama with your name
Jeff Foxworthy's Complete Redneck Dictionary: All the Words You Thought You Knew the Meaning Of
There’s no such thing as too much redneck. And it’s easy to understand why. A veritable gumbo of indigenous ingenuity, this deliciously distinct dialect rolls off the tongue like drool in the presence of a barbecue sandwich. Now, just in time for no time in particular, Jeff Foxworthy’s three bestsellers are rolled into one hilarious redneck reference. This practical, portable A-to-Z crash course will have you laughing and learning your way to flawless southern slang. Say after me: bay • ou (bi´-ü), v. and n. to purchase for another. “I just walked right up to her and said, ‘Hey darlin’, lemme bayou a drink.’ ” doo • dle (düd´-el), n. and v. a male person and his predicted actions. “Don’t even look at him, ’cuz that doodle kill you.” tor • toise (tort´-es), v. and n. to have imparted knowledge or wisdom to a group. “That stupid teacher never tortoise nothin’. ” Whether you’re a newbie looking to connect with your inner redneck or a seasoned pro hoping to sharpen your skills, The Complete Redneck Dictionary is the only reference you’ll ever need. Picking up Redneck (and this book) has never been easier.
You're going to wish you never picked up this book. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in: * A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain. * The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt. * Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you. * The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD. * Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
From This American Life alum David Rakoff comes a hilarious collection that single-handedly raises self-deprecation to an art form. Whether impersonating Sigmund Freud in a department store window during the holidays, climbing an icy mountain in cheap loafers, or learning primitive survival skills in the wilds of New Jersey, Rakoff clearly demonstrates how he doesn’t belong - nor does he try to. In his debut collection of essays, Rakoff uses his razor-sharp wit and snarky humor to deliver a barrage of damaging blows that, more often than not, land squarely on his own jaw - hilariously satirizing the writer, not the subject. Joining the wry and the heartfelt, Fraud offers an object lesson in not taking life, or ourselves, too seriously.
Quotes from Goats: Home Is Where the Herd Is
Inspirational quotes and photos of adorable goats.Goats are the animal du jour – “goat yoga” (yoga with baby goats) has exploded in popularity, and social media is flooded with photos of cute kids. Quotes from Goats pairs irresistible photographs of everyone's favorite barnyard animal with inspiring quotations that resonate with both goats and humans, like:“The best view comes after the hardest climb.”"Never skip family dinner time!""Take a walk on the wild side."
That is All
Bestselling author Hodgman completes his vision with "That Is All," the last book in a trilogy of Complete World Knowledge. Like its predecessors, this book compiles incredibly handy made-up facts into brief articles, overlong lists, and beguiling narratives on new and familiar themes.
Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar
From her beginnings as a wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds, through her spirited adventures watching self-satisfying monkeys, throwing up on Chinese food deliverymen, and stalking Leo DiCaprio, here are the goofy highs and horrifying lows of life as Kelly Oxford.
Darling, I Love You: Poems from the Hearts of Our Glorious Mutts and All Our Animal Friends
A heartwarming, joyous collection of illustrated short verse that celebrates the special love between humans and their pets, and the wonder of existence Daniel Ladinsky is the internationally acclaimed poet and translator known for his inspired, contemporary versions of works by Hafiz, Rumi, St. Francis of Assisi, and poet-saints East and West. Patrick McDonnell is the venerated author, artist, and creator of the beloved MUTTS comic strip. In Darling, I Love You! these two artists have collaborated for the first time to create a delightful, universal collection of sweet, welcome-to-the-moment poems about the essential places animals and wonder hold in our lives and in our hearts, accompanied by line drawings of the illustrious MUTTS characters that readers have come to know and love.
Bunny Buddhism: Hopping Along lthe Path to Enlightenment
What the bunny mind dwells on, the bunny becomes. The cuteness of bunnies meets the wisdom of Buddhism in this irresistible, inspirational guide to hopping along the wise path of life.
Life Is a Joke: 100 Life Lessons (with Punch Lines)
A really good joke, like a poem, a memorable song, or even a Zen koan, is a short burst of storytelling that makes you think. It's a portal of discovery - a memorable way to understand a little something new about life that might not have occurred to you otherwise.In these 100 classic jokes, life lessons are delivered with a smile. There's the joke about lost keys and why the search is sometime more important than the result. Or the joke about the cursing parrot and how scare tactics may work in the short term but not the long term. Or the one about the three turtles on a picnic and the terrible power of negative thinking.It's not that the joke is explained - it's that the joke explains us.
I'm Not a Terrorist, But I've Played One On TV: Memoirs of a Middle Eastern Funny Man
A hilarious and moving memoir of growing up Iranian in America, and the quest to make it in Hollywood without having to wear a turban, tote a bomb, or get kicked in the face by Chuck Norris. When he first started out in show business, Maz Jobrani endured suggestions that he spice up his stand-up act by wearing "the outfit," fielded questions about rising gas prices, and got called an F'in Eye-ranian for being involved in the Iran hostage crisis even though he was only eight years old at the time - in fact, these things happened so often that he began to wonder: Could I be a terrorist without even knowing it? Having emigrated with his family to the US during the Iranian Revolution, Maz spent most of his youth desperately trying to fit in with his adopted culture - whether that meant learning to play baseball or religiously watching Dallas with his female relatives. But none of his attempts at assimilation made a difference to casting directors, who only auditioned him for the role of kebab-eating, bomb-toting, extremist psychopath. In this laugh-out-loud memoir, Maz shares his struggle to build an acting career in post-9/11 Hollywood - from playing a terrorist on 24 to playing a terrorist opposite Chuck Norris to his mother asking, "Vhy you alvays terrorist?!" (Followed by, "Vhy you couldn't be doctor?!") But finally, through patience, determination, and only the occasional unequivocal compromising of his principles, he found a path to stardom. And he also learned the proper way to die like a bad guy on TV.
Act Natural: A Cultural History of Misadventures in Parenting
From a distinctive, inimitable voice, a wickedly funny and fascinating romp through the strange and often contradictory history of Western parentingWhy do we read our kids fairy tales about homicidal stepparents? How did helicopter parenting develop if it used to be perfectly socially acceptable to abandon your children? Why do we encourage our babies to crawl if crawling won’t help them learn to walk?These are just some of the questions that came to Jennifer Traig when—exhausted, frazzled, and at sea after the birth of her two children—she began to interrogate the traditional parenting advice she’d been conditioned to accept at face value. The result is Act Natural, hilarious and deft dissection of the history of Western parenting, written with the signature biting wit and deep insights Traig has become known for.Moving from ancient Rome to Puritan New England to the Dr. Spock craze of mid-century America, Traig cheerfully explores historic and present-day parenting techniques ranging from the misguided, to the nonsensical, to the truly horrifying. Be it childbirth, breastfeeding, or the ways in which we teach children how to sleep, walk, eat, and talk, she leaves no stone unturned in her quest for answers: Have our techniques actually evolved into something better? Or are we still just scrambling in the dark?
Go Ask Ali: Half-Baked Advice (and Free Lemonade)
People - even complete strangers- are always asking Ali Wentworth for advice. So, far be it for this actress-comedian and New York Times bestselling author to deny them. And if her hard-won wisdom can be as outrageously off-kilter as it is hilarious, well, it's not as if the recipient didn't know what to expect from the irrepressible, irreverent Wentworth.Now she channels her inner Dear Abby as she delivers tips, pointers, and judgments on a host of life's conundrums and sticky situations. Whether imparting her insights on sex, parenting, infidelity, gossip, friendship, beauty, or Instagram, this high priestess of self-awareness draws on her singular experiences as a wife, mother, and performer - and never shies away from the embarrassing (or just plain ludicrous) aspects of life.
Upon Further Review: The Greatest What-Ifs in Sports History
From Mike Pesca, host of the popular Slate podcast The Gist, comes the greatest sports minds imagining how the world would change if a play, trade, injury, or referee's call had just gone the other way.No announcer ever proclaimed: "Up Rises Frazier!" "Havlicek commits the foul, trying to steal the ball!" or "The Giants Lose the Pennant, The Giants Lose The Pennant!" Such moments are indelibly etched upon the mind of every sports fan. Or rather, they would be, had they happened. Sports are notoriously games of inches, and when we conjure the thought of certain athletes - like Bill Buckner or Scott Norwood - we can't help but apply a mental tape measure to the highlight reels of our minds. Players, coaches, and of course fans, obsess on the play when they ask, "What if?" Upon Further Review is the first book to answer that question.Upon Further Review is a book of counterfactual sporting scenarios. In its pages the reader will find expertly reported histories, where one small event is flipped on its head, and the resulting ripples are carefully documented, the likes of...What if the U.S. Boycotted Hitler's Olympics?What if Bobby Riggs beat Billie Jean King?What if Bucky Dent popped out at the foot of the Green Monster?What if Drew Bledsoe never got hurt? Upon Further Review takes classic arguments conducted over pints in a pub and places them in the hands of dozens of writers, athletes, and historians. From turning points that every sports fan rues or celebrates, to the forgotten would-be inflection points that defined sports, Upon Further Review answers age old questions, and settles the score, even if the score bounced off the crossbar.
Maeve's Times: In Her Own Words
Maeve Binchy is well known for her bestselling novels, but for many years Maeve was a journalist. From 'The Student Train' to 'Plane Bores' and 'Bathroom Joggers' to 'When Beckett met Binchy', these articles have all the warmth, wit and humanity of her fiction. Arranged in decades, from the 1960s to the 2000s, and including Maeve's first and last ever piece of writing for the Irish Times, the columns also give a fascinating insight into the author herself.With an introduction written by her husband, the writer Gordon Snell, this collection of timeless writing reminds us of why the leading Irish writer was so universally loved.
Dogs and Their People: Photos and Stories of Life with a Four-Legged Love
From the humans that brought you BarkBox (and BarkPost and BarkShop) finally comes Dogs and Their People. Finally, Bark & Co. has tapped the humans at BarkPost, the company's publishing arm, to put into words and photographs the first official BarkBook, capturing the depth, spirit, and power of the extraordinary bond between humans and their pups. Mostly community-sourced and filled with never-before-told anecdotes, stories, photos, and intimate insights, Dogs and Their People spotlights over 200 unique and remarkable dogs. Some are celebri-dogs while others are just making their debut; some will make your heart ache, while others will make it soar; and others simply look really dapper in color. All bring to life and celebrate the crazy, consuming, insatiable love we feel for the World's Ultimate Best Friend in a book that is the perfect gift for Dog Lovers everywhere..
Outraged: Why Everyone Is Shouting and No One Is Talking
Charles, Ashley '
A candid exploration of the state of outrage in our culture, how it debases our civil discourse, and how we can channel it back into the fights that matter, from radio host Ashley "Dotty" Charles.We're living in a post-modern utopia of sorts, where thanks to our resolute predecessors, we've checked a bunch of items off our outrage shopping list. Slavery? Abolished. Apartheid? Not anymore buddy. Women's suffrage? Nailed it. But what do you do when you keep winning your battles? Well, you pick new ones, of course.Ours is a society where many get by on provocation, the tactless but effective tool of peddling outrage--and we all too quickly take the bait. If outrage has become abundant, activism has definitely become subdued. Are we so exhausted from our hashtags that we simply don't have the energy to be outraged in the real world? Or are we simply pretending to be bothered?There is still much to be outraged by in our final frontier--the gender pay gap, racial bias, gun control--but in order to enact change, we must learn to channel our responses. Passionate, funny and unrelentingly wise, this is the essential guide to living through the age of outrage.
Keanu Reeves (For Your Consideration, Bk. 2)
This illustrated collection of humorous essays and fun extras makes the case for one of our most iconic celebrities, from Bill and Ted to John Wick.For an actor who's been in so many mega-hits and equally mega misses, it can be tough to track Keanu Reeves's accomplishments. But true fans know that Keanu is so much more than his Bill and Ted persona, both onscreen and off. During his long career - over 30 years, though you wouldn't know it from his immortal looks - he has constantly subverted Hollywood stereotypes and expectations. He's the type to start his own publishing company, reread Hamlet, write a grown-up children's book, photobomb people's weddings, eat lunch alone in the park while looking very sad, and give away his salary to the film crew.For Your Consideration: Keanu Reeves examines the ways in which Keanu strives to be kind and excellent in work and in life. The authors also explore various Internet conspiracies about his age, help you identify which Sad Keanu meme you are, give you the Keanu and Winona Ryder fanfic your heart desires, and much, much more.
Congratulations, Who Are You Again?
Key, Harrison Scott
This funny and wise new memoir from Harrison Scott Key, winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor, will inspire laughter and hope for anyone who’s ever been possessed by a dream of what they want to be when they grow up.Little-known author Mark Twain once said that the two most important days in your life are the day you were born, and the day you find out why. He's talking about dreams here, the destiny that calls every living soul to some kind of greatness. What Mr. Twain doesn't say is: A dream is also a monster that wants to eat you. Nobody tells you this part of the American Dream — until now. In this new memoir, Congratulations Who Are You Again, readers join Harrison Scott Key on his outrageous journey to becoming a great American writer.As a young boy in Mississippi, Harrison possessed many special gifts, such as the ability to read and complete college applications. And yet, throughout young adulthood, he failed at many vocations, until one day, after drinking perhaps too many beers and dusting off his King James Bible, he stumbled across a passage about a lonely pelican, which burst into flame inside him. In a mad blaze of holy illumination, Harrison realized his dream: to set the world afire with the light inside him. He would write a funny book. This was his dream.With unforgettable wit and tenderness, Congratulations Who Are You Again is Harrison’s instructive tale of pursuing his destiny with relentless and often misguided devotion, transforming his life beyond all comprehension: He becomes a signer of autographs, a doer of interviews, a casher of checks that are "worth more money than my father had ever imagined any of us might see, this side of a drug-related felony."On this journey, Harrison finds that as he gains the world, he stands on the precipice of losing everything that means the most: his family, his mind, his soul. Hilarious, honest, and absolutely practical, Congratulations Who Are You Again is a no-holds-barred look at the life of every ambitious human creature, whether you want to write books or make music, start a business or start a revolution. This is a book for the dreamers.
Brunch Is Hell: How to Save the World by Throwing a Dinner Party
Society is under threat. The culprit? BRUNCH. Not merely a forum for overpriced eggs, brunch is a leisure-time-squandering hellscape, embodying all that is soul-killing and alienating about modern life.How to fight back? By throwing dinner parties--the cornerstone of civilized society!Dinner parties--where friends new and old share food, debate ideas, and boldly build hangovers together. If we revive the fading art of throwing dinner parties the world will be better off, and our country might heal its wounds of endless division... all without having to wait in a 9-hour line to eat toast.To that end, BRUNCH IS HELL takes hesitant hosts through every phase of throwing a great dinner party, from guest list to subpoena. Loaded with wit, celebrity advice, and tongue-in-cheek humor--plus sincere insights about how humans can be more generous to each other--BRUNCH IS HELL is a spirited guide to restoring civility, in the bestselling tradition of Adulting, Amy Sedaris' I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence, and the Bible.
God, No!: Signs You May Already Be an Atheist and Other Magical Tales
The "New York Times"-bestselling reinterpretation of the Ten Commandments from the larger, louder half of the world-famous magic duo Penn & Teller. One of the most outspoken and visible atheists in the media today, Penn is brilliantly observant and hysterically obscene.
Cats Are People, Too: A Collection of Cat Cartoons to Curl up With
Cats Are People, Too is a hilarious and affectionate collection of Dave Coverly’s brilliant cat-themed cartoons from his Reuben Award–winning, nationally syndicated panel Speed Bump.This full-color compendium of hilarious cat cartoons has all the charm of its companion, Dogs Are People, Too. Divided into fun chapters such as “Cats and Their Humans,” “DomestiCATed,” “Reigning Cats and Dogs,” and filled with cat clichés, pop “capture,” as well as reflections from six other award-winning, cat-loving cartoonists, this new collection is a surefire purchase perfect for animal-lovers of all ages.
The Importance of Being Ernie (and Bert) (The Sesame Street Guide to Life)
The eternal question: Are you a Bert or an Ernie? You’ll find out thanks to The Importance of Being Ernie (and Bert). And this book will show you how to be best friends with those who wear their stripes a little differently.Bert and Ernie have been friends and roommates on Sesame Street for decades, despite very different approaches to life’s challenges and joys. One collects jokes, the other collects paperclips. One loves pigeons, the other his Rubber Duckie. One sees the bathtub half-full, the other needs to empty it so he can give it a good scrub. But they both agree that having a best buddy is worth all the daily ups and downs.There are no better experts on living together and learning together. Their guide to friendship will make the perfect gift for any Bert or Ernie in your life.
The Fangirl's Guide to the Galaxy
Fanfic, cosplay, cons, books, memes, podcasts, vlogs, OTPs and RPGs and MMOs and more--it's never been a better time to be a girl geek. The Fangirl's Guide to the Galaxy is the ultimate handbook for ladies living the nerdy life, a fun and feminist take on the often male-dominated world of geekdom. With delightful illustrations and an unabashed love for all the in(ternet)s and outs of geek culture, this book is packed with tips, playthroughs, and cheat codes, including: * How to make nerdy friends * How to rock awesome cosplay * How to write fanfic with feels * How to defeat Internet trolls * How to attend your first con And more! Plus, insightful interviews with fangirl faves, like Jane Espenson, Erin Morgenstern, Kate Beaton, Ashley Eckstein, Laura Vandervoort, Beth Revis, Kate Leth, and many others.
Peculiar Questions and Practical Answers: A Little Book of Whimsy and Wisdom from the Files of the New York Public Library
New York Public Library
The New York Public Library staff answers questions remarkable and preposterous, with illustrations by Barry Blitt.Have you’ve ever wondered if you can keep an octopus in a private home? Do you spend your time thinking about how much Napoleon’s brain weighed? If so, Peculiar Questions and Practical Answers is the book for you. The New York Public Library has been fielding questions like these ever since it was founded in 1895. Of course, some of the questions have left the librarians scratching their heads . . ."In what occupations may one be barefooted?""What time does a bluebird sing?""What does it mean when you’re being chased by an elephant?""What kind of apple did Eve eat?""How many neurotic people are there in the U.S.?"In Peculiar Questions and Practical Answers, the staff of the NYPL has dug through the archives to find thoughtful and often witty answers to over one hundred of the oddest, funniest, and most whimsical questions the library has received since it began record-keeping over seventy-five years ago. One of The New Yorker’s best-known and beloved illustrators, Barry Blitt, has created watercolors that bring many of the questions hilariously to life in a book that answers, among others, the question "Does anyone have a copyright on the Bible?"
Festivals: A Survival Guide
This awesome guide covers everything, from getting a ticket and knowing the right things to pack to manning up in the face of a monster hangover.Practical advice explains how to smuggle booze past security and pick the perfect spot to pitch a tent, and why only a fool would consider wearing a jumpsuit when having to use a festival toilet.Includes hilarious profiles of the various characters you're likely to meet and real-life stories from adventures of festivals around the world.
I Hate Everyone
It's true: Misery does love company. But what kind of company can you keep if you can't stand anyone? This kind. No matter who they are or what they do that sets you off and gets you going, you'll find 'em inside. From rich people who are dicks to guys named Rich who go by Dick to those who are always cold to people who are just hot, no one is safe. But one thing is certain - everyone will find someone they equally despise. And you're gonna love it, period.
How to Lose a Marathon
Cohen, Joel H.
A writer and producer for The Simpsons presents a humorous, illustrated guide for any and every wannabe marathoner. This book deals with all facets of running: chafing, the best times to run, the myth of the "runner's high," the phenomenon known as the "Oprah Line," and the torture of the pre-marathon expo. Through it all, Cohen acts as your satirical guide to every aspect of the runner's experience.
The Jokiest Joking Joke Book Ever Written . . . No Joke!
The biggest, funniest, laugh-out-loudest joke book on the planet! Crack open this book to have everyone you know in stitches.
The Uncollected David Rakoff
Bestselling and Thurber Prize–winning humorist David Rakoff was one of the most original, delightfully acerbic voices of his generation. Here, in one place, is the best of his previously uncollected material—most never before published in book form.David Rakoff’s singular personality spills from every page of this witty and entertaining volume, which includes travel features, early fiction works, pop culture criticism, and transcripts of his most memorable appearances on public radio’s Fresh Air and This American Life.These writings chart his transformation from fish out of water, meekly arriving for college in 1982, to a proud New Yorker bluntly opining on how to walk properly in the city. They show his unparalleled ability to capture the pleasures of solitary pursuits like cooking and crafting, especially in times of trouble; as well as the ups and downs in the life-span of a friendship, whether it is a real relationship or an imaginary correspondence between Gregor Samsa and Dr. Seuss (co-authored with Jonathan Goldstein). Also included is his novel-in-verse Love, Dishonor, Marry, Die, Cherish, Perish.By turns hilarious, incisive and deeply moving, this collection highlights the many facets of Rakoff’s huge talent and shows the arc of his remarkable career.
Don't Wait Up: Confessions of a Stay-at-Work Mom
Some women feel that motherhood is a calling and their purpose on earth. They somehow manage to make pregnancy look effortless, bring out the beauty in a screaming child, and keep the back seat of their cars as spotless as their kitchens.And then there’s women like Liz Astrof. Who originally had children because "everyone else was."In this blunt and side-splittingly funny book of essays, Liz Astrof embraces the realities of motherhood (and womanhood) that no one ever talks about: like needing to hide from your kids in your closet, your car, or a yoga class on the other side of town, letting them eat candy for dinner because you just can't deal, to the sheer terror of failing them or at the very least losing them in a mall. And sometimes, many times, wondering if the whole parenting thing wasn’t for you.In vivid and relatable prose, she discusses her love for her career, how she’s managed to overcome some of her own dysfunctional childhood, and the ups and downs of raising the little demons she calls her own . . . from the office.Soul-baring, entertaining, and insightful, Don't Wait Up is an abashedly honest look at parenting and relationships for moms who realize that motherhood doesn’t have to be your entire life - just an amazing part of it - that you would definitely most likely do all over again.
When You Least Expect It: Essays on Living without a Five-Year Plan
One New York City millennial shares her journey of finding her dream career and true love, all while juggling a truly unique job as the world’s only professional bridesmaid in this hilarious memoir that “will be relatable to anyone looking for love or just trying to figure things out” (PopSugar).After moving to New York City in her mid-twenties to pursue her dream of writing—and of not living with her parents anymore—Jen Glantz looked forward to a future of happy hours and Sunday brunches with her besties.What she got instead was a string of phone calls that began with, “Jen, I have something exciting to tell you!” and ended with, “I’d be honored if you would be my bridesmaid.” At first she was delighted, before she realized two things: all of her assets were tied up in bridesmaid dresses, and she was no closer to finding the One herself. She couldn’t do much about the second thing (though her mother would beg to differ), but she could about the first.One (slightly tipsy) night, Jen posted an ad on Craigslist advertising her services as a professional bridesmaid. When she woke up the next morning, it had gone viral. What began as a half-joke suddenly turned into a lifetime of adventure for Jen—and more insight into the meaning of love than she was getting from Tinder—as she walked down the aisle at one complete stranger’s wedding after another.Fresh, funny, and surprisingly sweet, When You Least Expect It is an entertaining reminder that even if you don’t have everything together, you can still be a total boss—or, at the very least, a BFF to another girl in need.
Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People
America's most delightfully unconventional hostess and the bestselling author of I Like You delivers a new book that will forever change the world of crafting. According to Amy Sedaris, it's often been said that ugly people craft and attractive people have sex. In her new book, SIMPLE TIMES, she sets the record straight. Demonstrating that crafting is one of life's more pleasurable and constructive leisure activities, Sedaris shows that anyone with a couple of hours to kill and access to pipe cleaners can join the elite society of crafters. You will discover how to make popular crafts, such as: crab-claw roach clips, tinfoil balls, and crepe-paper moccasins, and learn how to: get inspired (Spend time at a Renaissance Fair; Buy fruit, let it get old, and see what shapes it turns into); remember which kind of glue to use with which material (Tacky with Furry, Gummy with Gritty, Paste with Prickly, and always Gloppy with Sandy); create your own craft room and avoid the most common crafting accidents (sawdust fires, feather asphyxia, pine cone lodged in throat); and cook your own edible crafts, from a Crafty Candle Salad to Sugar Skulls, and many more recipes. PLUS whole chapters full of more crafting ideas (Pompom Ringworms! Seashell Toilet Seat Covers!) that will inspire you to create your own hastily constructed obscure d'arts; and much, much more!
I'm So Pregnant
The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy meets Lobster Is the Best Medicine in this collection of funny illustrations that perfectly depicts the awkward and uncomfortable realities of pregnancy - because creating a tiny human isn’t just sunshine and smiles.Being "a little bit pregnant" may not be a thing. But being "so pregnant"? It’s so possible. In this hilarious book, mom and illustrator Line Severinsen delivers the often ignored, but always honest truth about those magical - and sometimes messy - nine months of pregnancy.From morning sickness that lasts all day to weird dreams that last all night and heartburn that just won’t quit, I’m So Pregnant perfectly captures what it is really like being pregnant. Unlike strangers touching your belly, these playful and adorable cartoons will touch your heart and give a whole new meaning to "belly laugh."
Hand Drawn Jokes for Smart Attractive People
For almost fifteen years, Matthew Diffee’s uniquely funny single-panel cartoons have gussied up the pages of The New Yorker, winning him countless fans, big shot friends, and a pile of hilarious material he’s never used. Yet shockingly, a small sector of the population is not enamored with his work. Diffee has met some of these people and reports that they are, without exception, dumb and ugly, whereas the people who enjoy his work are just the opposite. In fact, the smarter and more attractive people are, the more they tend to appreciate Diffee’s humor. This book is for them. This collection contains Diffee’s funniest drawings and writings from the past decade as well as all-new cartoons and sketches organized into categories that will appeal to smart attractive people in all walks of life, based on profession and circumstance: smart attractive Medical Professionals, sharp and good-looking Old People; beautiful geniuses in Prison; brainy handsome Lumberjacks; and more. Are you an alluring well-read utensil user? Well, there’s a chapter just for you! If you’re a fan of Demetri Martin and Jack Handey, or if you happen to be George Clooney or Natalie Portman, Hand Drawn Jokes for Smart Attractive People will leave you laughing your smart attractive ass off.
What It Means to Be a Teacher: A Celebration of the Humor, Heart, and Hero in Every Classroom
Blending inspiration, motivation, and humor, longtime teacher Jennifer Larson draws on her years of experience and takes a loving and a lighthearted look at the challenges of working in a school—a perfect teacher appreciation gift for any educator.Teachers everywhere know the struggle is real—the overcrowded classrooms, bus duty in the rain, and staff meetings that definitely should have been an email. From the endless battle with the copier to constantly disappearing pencils, no one can deny that being a teacher is tough. But What It Means to Be a Teacher reminds you exactly why you do what you do.With a heaping helping of humor and heart, longtime teacher Jennifer Larson reflects on the challenges teachers face every day and adds a laugh-out-loud perspective that resonates with educators everywhere. Both amusing and affectionate, What It Means to Be a Teacher is a perfect thank you gift for those special people who dedicate their lives to inspiring and supporting others and captures why being a teacher is the best job in the world.
Sh*T My Kids Ruined
Brophy, Julie Haas
Quite possibly the best birth control on the market, Sh*t My Kids Ruined is a pictorial tribute to the filthy, distasteful, gross, and painful moments of parenthood, and the children who make it all possible. Kids: they are the light of your life—and the enemy of all things fragile, intact, and clean. But why cry over spilt milk . . . or paint . . . or the entire contents of a full-size swimming pool? A testament to the messiness of childhood (and parenting), and a memorial to the household items that perished along the way, here are never-before-seen photos and outrageous stories of VCRs jammed with toys, toilets clogged with clothes, and furniture accented with permanent marker. Torn-up computer keyboards and torn-out hair, botched family photos and mustard-covered treadmills - nothing is off limits to your darling, destructive offspring. So raise a broken glass and embrace the madness, because laughter is the only surefire way to keep your sh*t together.
I Really Didn't Think This Through: Tales from My So-Called Adult Life
Did you ever wish your best friend - the person you would trust with your innermost secrets, the person whose wisdom and comfort you seek in times of stress or self-doubt - could draw?Like Mindy Kaling meets Hyperbole and a Half, I Really Didn’t Think This Through gets at the heart of what makes life both so challenging and so joyful - figuring out how to be a person in the world. Armed with her beloved illustrations, popular Instagram artist Beth Evans tackles a range of issues - from whimsical musings to deeply personal struggles - in this imaginative anti-guide to being your own person.This book is a compendium of Beth’s collected wisdom and stories, interwoven with her tremendously popular and loveable illustrations. The book is a wonderful mix of fun (playful meditations on the band Rush and international pen-pals) and thoughtful (Beth delves into her personal history with obsessive compulsive disorder and depression while commiserating on topics like dating and credit card shame) all with a simple candor that anyone from a teen to their grandparent can relate to. Through all of her experiences, Beth manages to extract valuable lessons, and the book is replete with friendly advice about caring for yourself, getting help no matter what your problems are, and embracing what makes you happy. Beth is a compelling storyteller, her drawings picking up where her words leave off, creating an approachable and immersive experience for the reader. Beth’s work feels like a hug from your best friend. And like a best friend, she’s here to say “You got this!”
I Suck at Girls
From the author of the massive #1 "New York Times"-bestseller "Sh*t My Dad Says" comes a laugh-out-loud funny and touching story about relationships with the opposite sex, from his first kiss to getting engaged and all the awkward moments in between.
Teachers: There is No Such Thing as a Hot Coffee & Other Teacher Truths
Get ready to go behind the desk with this insider's look at a year in the life of an everyday educator. Written by teachers for teachers, this hilarious snapshot into the lives of the overworked and underpaid will have you laughing so loud, you'll worry it might get confiscated.
Don't Go to Jail! - Saul Goodman's Guide to Keeping the Cuffs Off
Got the long arm of the law around your neck?Does Lady Justice have her eye on you?Were you set up at a lineup?Saul Goodman can help!There are some crazy laws out there. Did you know that in New Mexico there’s a law that says “idiots” can’t vote? Or that Massachusetts still has a ban on Quakers and witches? Or that in Georgia it’s illegal to put a donkey in a bathtub?Even if you’re not bathing a donkey (and hey, if you are, no judgment from me!), you could be breaking the law right now and not even know it. That’s why you need Don't Go to Jail! You can carry the advice of a seasoned legal practitioner with you anywhere you go, helping you to stay out of the courts and in the good graces of the criminal justice system.Want to be your own attorney? Want to avoid getting hauled in on a warrant? Want to keep the cops from discovering the baggie of “your friend’s” marijuana stashed under the passenger seat of your car? This is your chance to get those tips and many more savory bits of indispensable legal advice--all for much less than my usual hourly fee.
Party of One: A Memoir in 21 Songs
From former MTV VJ Dave Holmes, the hilarious memoir of a perpetual outsider fumbling towards self-acceptance, with the music of the '80s, '90s, and today as his soundtrack
Planet Funny: How Comedy Took Over Our Culture
Where once society’s most coveted trait might have been strength or intelligence or honor, today, in a clear sign of evolution sliding off the trails, it is being funny. Yes, funniness.Consider: Super Bowl commercials don’t try to sell you anymore; they try to make you laugh. Airline safety tutorials - those terrifying laminated cards about the possibilities of fire, explosion, depressurization, and drowning - have been replaced by joke-filled videos with multimillion-dollar budgets and dance routines. Thanks to social media, we now have a whole Twitterverse of amateur comedians riffing around the world at all hours of the day - and many of them even get popular enough online to go pro and take over TV.In his “smartly structured, soundly argued, and yes - pretty darn funny” (Booklist, starred review) Planet Funny, Ken Jennings explores this brave new comedic world and what it means - or doesn’t - to be funny in it now. Tracing the evolution of humor from the caveman days to the bawdy middle-class antics of Chaucer to Monty Python’s game-changing silliness to the fast-paced meta-humor of The Simpsons, Jennings explains how we built our humor-saturated modern age, where lots of us get our news from comedy shows and a comic figure can even be elected President of the United States purely on showmanship.
I Am Maru
Meet Maru! This round, adorable Scottish Fold cat may be an internet sensation, but he knows how to keep his celebrity status from going to his fluffy head . . . mostly. Maru and his owner, mugumogu, give readers a peek into the low-key life of the world's most famous cat. See all his favorite hiding places - trash cans, cupboards, cereal boxes . . . if it's cozy, he's there. Meet his treasured toys, and learn what it means to wield just the right amount of cat-titude.
The Clothes Make the Girl (Look Fat)? Adventures and Agonies in Fashion
A sartorial follow-up to her hilarious memoir in stories, Fat Girl Walking, internet personality Brittany Gibbons once again deep dives into the world of the plus size woman, this time chronicling her love/hate (but mostly hate) relationship with what fashion.From Pinterest boards and Instagram posts to shop windows and ad campaigns, fashion is everywhere. We shop and dress for practical reasons like job interviews or to make a good impression at the board meeting. We shop and dress for more adventurous reasons—for dates, to woo a lover, to catch someone’s eye. Clothes are armor for women, and we wrap a lot of meaning in what we choose to wear.As plus-size spokesmodel and blogger Brittany Gibbons knows, what we choose to wear is especially important, and especially emotional, for curvy women. This isn’t only because curvy women feel underrepresented and underserved by the fashion world. For the curvy woman who struggles with feelings of self-worth and a lack of confidence the feeling of "why bother" can come crashing in. You can’t help but think "wouldn’t leggings and a slouchy sweater just be easier?" Especially when we, like every other woman on the planet, are facing greater, real-life obstacles like raising kids, attending college, keeping your marriage together, paying bills, and a myriad of other daily struggles.Everyone has those days where they hate their body, they hate their clothes, but self-confidence and strength can come from a great outfit. Brittany is determined to help women, curvy and otherwise, embrace fashion and all the bumps and lumps that come with it. An "overdue love letter" to her body, Brittany delves into the hilarity and the humility of her quest to find her own personal style—to break out of a rut of maternity underwear and men’s undershirts once and for all. From wardrobe malfunctions, to fashion advice, to mom bodies and the perfect pose, The Clothes Make the Girl (Look Fat)? is the empowered battle cry all women deserve.
The Hypochondriac's Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have
Hypochondriacs can now fret appropriately with this humorous pocket guide to more than 40 disgusting, horrible diseases. All entries include symptoms, a diagnosis guide, treatment suggestions, a prognosis, and - if you are not yet infected - prevention tips.Do you suffer from insomnia?Not good…soon your whole body might attack your brain.Are you bothered by a persistent fever and swelling?Beware…maggots are likely crawling beneath your skin.Have you noticed skin tenderness and discoloration?Yikes…a small horn is probably going to sprout from your head.Because it's ultra-portable, you can (and probably should) have The Hypochondriac's Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have with you at all times so at the slightest onset of an unmistakably fatal-feeling itchy rash, you can simply whip out your trusty guide, conveniently diagnose yourself, and then let the worrying begin.
Gross Anatomy: A Field Guide to Loving Your Body, Warts and All
Mara Altman's volatile and apprehensive relationship with her body has led her to wonder about a lot of stuff over the years. Like, who decided that women shouldn't have body hair? And how sweaty is too sweaty? Also, why is breast cleavage sexy but camel toe revolting? Isn't it all just cleavage? These questions and others like them have led to the comforting and sometimes smelly revelations that constitute Gross Anatomy, an essay collection about what it's like to operate the bags of meat we call our bodies.Divided into two sections, "The Top Half" and "The Bottom Half," with cartoons scattered throughout, Altman's book takes the reader on a wild and relatable journey from head to toe--as she attempts to strike up a peace accord with our grody bits.With a combination of personal anecdotes and fascinating research, Gross Anatomy holds up a magnifying glass to our beliefs, practices, biases, and body parts and shows us the naked truth: that there is greatness in our grossness.
Be the Person Your Dog Thinks You Are
Frick, C. J.
For dog owners and lovers everywhere, C. J. Frick's Be the Person Your Dog Thinks You Are is a humorous, fully illustrated book that shows us that even when we feel at our worst, our dogs still think we’re the best - so start acting like it!
Humblebrag: The Art of False Modesty
From comedian and writer (Parks and Recreation, Eastbound & Down) Harris Wittels comes a hysterical breakdown of boasts, brags, and self-adulation disguised as humble comments and complaints - based on his popular @humblebrag Twitter feed. Something immediately annoyed Harris Wittels about Twitter. All of a sudden it was acceptable to brag, so long as those brags were ever-so-thinly disguised as transparent humility, such as: "Just filed my taxes. Biggie was right, mo money mo problems." "I hate when I go into a store to get something to eat and the male staff are too busy hitting on me to get my order right :( so annoying!" Taking action by naming this phenomenon and creating the Twitter account called Humblebrag - dedicated solely to retweeting the humblebrags of others - Wittels's new word took the Internet by storm. Harris also shows readers what humblebrags might look like from some of history's most notable names, as well as devoting an entire chapter to a man who just might be the greatest humblebraggart of them all...
The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting
Ilana Wiles is not a good mother. She’s not a bad mother either. Like most of us, she’s normal. From the creator of the wildly popular blog Mommy Shorts comes Ilana Wiles’s first humor book on remarkably average parenting. If you want solid advice about raising kids, this book is not for you. If you want to wallow in your own misery about how having kids is AWFUL, this book is not for you. This book pays homage to the every-parent and suggests that they are the people having the best child-rearing experience of all. Using Wiles’s signature infographics and photographs to illustrate her personal and hilarious essays on motherhood, the book is an honest guide that celebrates the fun of being a mom.
How to Think Like a Cat
Do cats worry about retirement? Nope. Do cats do things they don’t want to do? Definitely not. Do cats rush around at all hours of the day when they’d rather be licking their paws and looking out a window? Please.Calm, free, charismatic, wise, elegant, self-assured - our beloved feline pets strut those traits that we humans spend a lifetime aspiring to. No wonder everybody wants to be more like a cat.After observing his own cat, Ziggy, for years, bestselling French author Stéphane Garnier decided that he would be much happier if he could just live more like Ziggy. Closer study only confirmed his suspicion that cats have that je ne sais quoi, and he set out to share Ziggy’s innate wisdom with the world.Whether at work, at home, or in your social life, your cat can teach you how to manage stress, cultivate independence, and live life on your terms. Peppered with humorous yet inspiring tips for living a day in the life of a cat, cat secrets from Ziggy, and a quiz to assess your “cat quotient,” How to Think Like a Cat is an inspiring, humorous, and remarkably insightful guide to the subtle art of living like a feline.
Thirty-Life Crisis: Navigating My Thirties, One Drunk Baby Shower at a Time
A hilarious essay collection perfect for anyone dealing with the challenges, indignities, and celebrations that come with being a thirty-something by actor and YouTube star Lisa Schwartz (Lisbug).Lisa Schwartz's stories and musings are all about watching her friends adult like pros, while she tries to understand why she doesn't want or can't seem to find all the things they have for herself. Like a big sister who's already seen it all, Lisa will take readers through her own life experiences to say that one thing we all need to hear: you are so not alone. Unabashed and unfiltered, Schwartz's voice and candor will appeal to anyone in their thirties who just can't deal with the never-ending Facebook feed of friends' engagement photos and baby pictures, the trials of figuring out where their passion meets their career, and everything in between.So, if you've ever had to figure out...• Parenting Your Parents (Yikes)• Gender Reveal Parties (It's an actual thing.)• Discovering That Your Boyfriend Likes Boys (Surprise!)• Online Shopping Away Your Anxiety (Don't)• or Gender Reveal Parties (Seriously. It's an actual thing.)This book is your new best friend.
Men & Dogs (The Men And Series)
A brilliant collection of photographs featuring gorgeous men and candid canines.When the world has you down, there's no better pick-me-up than handsome men paired with cute puppies. In this new book from the authors of Men & Cats you'll find an original collection of fifty match-ups with a heartthrob human on one page and a pooch in a similar pose or with a similar expression on the next.
Black Man, White House: An Oral History of the Obama Years
Hughley, D. L.
For two centuries, presidents hoping to secure their legacies have sought out biographers. But who could possibly capture the inspiring yet bizarre reality of the first black man to call the White House his crib, a tenure that brought hope, change, and health care to millions, but also spawned birthers, backlash, and the bewildering rise of Donald Trump? Thankfully, as the end of President Barack Obama’s pioneering two terms in office drew near, the First Lady had a stroke of genius: “Honey, all these presidential biographies are written by old white guys. Why not hook a brother up for once?”Enter D.L. Hughley. When the comedy legend got the call from the White House, he knew this was the assignment of a lifetime. Of course he would become a political biographer: what else could his decades of experience bringing unflinching truth and hilarity to the American people have been building toward?And so D.L. proudly raised his finger to “The System”* and set out to record a true and accurate** oral history of the Obama years, interviewing everyone from Obama’s esteemed Democratic colleagues in Washington to Republican pols who dare not speak his name and segments of the “conservative base” who have irrefutable proof that Obama is a Kenyan-born Muslim and Saddam Hussein’s second cousin thrice removed AND a Coldplay fan. Protected by the Patriot Act and the promise of a presidential pardon, Hughley bitch-slapped virtually every rule of journalism in pursuit of his mission: hacking into Hillary Clinton’s private e-mail server; infiltrating Trump’s tanning sessions; staking out each of Mitt Romney’s 752 mansions; even eavesdropping on Bill Clinton’s late-night escapades.At the end of it all, Hughley had bravely assembled an explosive dossier that would make Edward Snowden (and even the NSA) blush. Black Man, White House is the culmination of these extraordinary comedic efforts, an authoritative work on the Obama presidency that is destined to enlighten and entertain patriots, scholars, and Yes-We-Can’ers for generations to come.
The White Man's Guide to White Male Writers of the Western Canon
Katzenstein, Jason Adam (Ilt)
How do you use ‘taraddidle’ in a sentence? Is it possible to make a Gin Ricky that’s also a metaphor for the American Dream? How can you tell your Faulkner from your Franzen if you haven’t actually read either?Allow me, the @GuyInYourMFA, to expound on the most important (aka white male) writers of western literature. You’ve probably seen me around, observing the masses, or defying the wind by hand-rolling a cigarette outside a local, fair-trade coffeeshop. I’ve actually read Infinite Jest 9 1/2 times. Care to discuss?From Shakespeare's greatest mystery (how could a working-class man without access to an MFA program be so prolific?) to the true meaning of Kafkaesque (you know you've made it when you have an adjective named for you), the pages herewith are at once profound and practical. Use my ingenious Venn diagram to test your knowledge of which Jonathan—Franzen, Lethem, or Safran Foer—hates Twitter and lives in Brooklyn. (Trick question: all 3!) Sneer at chick-lit and drink Mojitos like Hemingway (not like middle-aged divorcées!).So instead of politely nodding along next time you make an acquaintance at a housewarming party in Brooklyn, you can roll up your sleeves and get to work schooling them in character arcs and the experimental form of your next great American novel. Dazzle your friends with how well you understand post-modernism. You’ll be at a literary event asking a question “that’s really more of a comment” in no time.
Montaigne in Barn Boots: An Amateur Ambles Through Philosophy
"The journey began on a gurney," writes Michael Perry, describing the debilitating kidney stone that led him to discover the essays of Michel de Montaigne. Reading the philosopher in a manner he equates to chickens pecking at scraps—including those eye-blinking moments when the bird gobbles something too big to swallow—Perry attempts to learn what he can (good and bad) about himself as compared to a long-dead French nobleman who began speaking Latin at the age of two, went to college instead of kindergarten, worked for kings, and once had an audience with the Pope. Perry "matriculated as a barn-booted bumpkin who still marks a second-place finish in the sixth-grade spelling bee as an intellectual pinnacle . . . and once said hello to Merle Haggard on a golf cart."Written in a spirit of exploration rather than declaration, Montaigne in Barn Boots is a down-to-earth (how do you pronounce that last name?) look into the ideas of a philosopher "ensconced in a castle tower overlooking his vineyard," channeled by a midwestern American writing "in a room above the garage overlooking a disused pig pen." Whether grabbing an electrified fence, fighting fires, failing to fix a truck, or feeding chickens, Perry draws on each experience to explore subjects as diverse as faith, race, sex, aromatherapy, and Prince. But he also champions academics and aesthetics, in a book that ultimately emerges as a sincere, unflinching look at the vital need to be a better person and citizen.
Hot Dudes Reading
Humans of New York meets Porn for Women in this collection of candid photos, clever captions, and hilarious hashtags about one of the most important subjects of our time: hot dudes reading.Based on the viral Instagram account of the same name, Hot Dudes Reading takes its readers on a ride through all five boroughs of New York City, with each section covering a different subway line. Using their expert photography skills (covert iPhone shots) and journalistic ethics (#NoKindles), the authors capture the most beautiful bibliophiles in all of New York - and take a few detours to interview some of the most popular hot dudes from the early days of the Instagram account.Fun, irreverent, and wittily-observed, this book is tailor-made for book lovers in search of their own happy endings - and those who just want to get lost between the covers for a while.
Legally Correct Fairy Tales
Jack and Jill went down the hill - and are suing the pail manufacturer for pain and suffering. And guess who the Three Bears are taking to the cleaners for trespassing, damage to real property, and mental anguish? Way beyond politically correct, this is the perfect book for these litigious times. Here, the most beloved tales of childhood are told once again, not with the rhythms of the nursery, but in the precise language of the law, as depositions and briefs, summonses and summary judgments. Legally Correct Fairy Tales is hilarious!
Passive Aggressive Notes: Painfully Polite and Hilariously Hostile Writings
Part voyeuristic entertainment, part group therapy, Passive Aggressive Notes offers a fascinating look at the all-too-familiar frustrations of embattled office drones, apartment dwellers, parents, and pet owners everywhere. This curated collection combines dozens of outrageous, never-before-seen notes as well as favorites from Passiveaggressivenotes.com - a 2008 Webby Award Winner and the official "Best Blog" of the South by Southwest Interactive festival.
Unlightenment: A Guide to Higher Consciousness for Everyday People
This illustrated, humorous book helps those who have trouble meditating fully embrace mindfulness and wellness.Meditation and mindfulness are popular for their ability to improve moods, reduce stress, help with anxiety and depression, and reduce distractions. But while many are successful, there are some who struggle to relax and clear their heads, wondering how so many people find this New Age movement invigorating. In Unlightenment, you’ll get a comedic look at what it’s like to participate in New Age practices—even if you’re not able to achieve a quiet mind, maintain moment-to-moment awareness, or recreate complex, contorted yoga poses.
Ductigami: The Art of the Tape
NASA has a written policy that requires every space shuttle mission to carry at least one roll of "the gray tape." Duct tape now comes in designer colors, and for the color-shy there's a transparent version. The once-humble tape has hit the big time, and now there are duct-tape clubs, competitions and websites. In the words of Red Green, head possum on the PBS-syndicated The Red Green Show, "Spare the duct tape, spoil the job." In this instructive, entertaining and downright funny how-to book, Joe Wilson shows how to rip, cut and fold ordinary duct tape to make 18 amazing projects, including: Wallet; Barbecue apron; Lunchbox; Tool belt; Cell phone holder; Baseball cap; TV chair caddy; Raingear for pets; Toilet roll cover; Halloween masks. Ductigami is more fun than a crossword puzzle, more useful than a welder's certificate, and more durable than a rechargeable battery. With duct tape it's easy to create a remarkable personal gift for any occasion.
Find the Poo: Without Worrying About Where You Step
For years Joe Shyllit has struggled, like all dog owners, with sometimes having trouble finding his dog's poo. A dog's poo can hide almost anywhere.If he just couldn't find it, Shyllit would either do a fake pick-up or steel his nerves and walk away -- a crime punishable by deathly dirty looks. Dog owners are a tough bunch.One day Shyllit decided that he would take photographs of the places where he could not find the poo but knew it was there. And so, Find the Poo was born, an odor-free challenge to find the poo in 22 sharp color photographs. Driveway gravel, autumn leaves, tree bark, red stones, roots, undergrowth, dappled sunlight, tiny pine cones -- all are hiding a contribution from Shyllit's 10-year-old cockapoo, Farfel.Unlike real life, however, the answers are at the back of the book. Consider them training for the next time you walk your dog.
If Keanu Were Your Boyfriend - The Man, the Myth, the WHOA!
Imagine dating the internet's boyfriend in this illustrated homage to the always charming and often enigmatic Keanu Reeves. This full-color hardcover contains biographical information as well as illustrated quotes straight from the unicorn-of-a-man himself.
I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies...: How to Find Love & Sh*t Like That
In the age of Tinder, Hinge, or any other dating app that matches you with randos, the dating game has grown complex and confusing. Cue the Betches - first, we helped you win at basically everything, and now we’re going to help you win the most important battle a betch can face.Maybe you’re a Delusional Dater who needs to get in touch with reality (seriously, he’s just NOT that f***ing into you) or perhaps you’re a TGF who needs to stop being so desperate and start playing the game. Or maybe you’re just tired of swiping left and ready for the pro of your dreams to put a 15-karat diamond ring on it so you can stop pretending to do work. Either way, we’ve got you covered. With insight from the Betches’ own Head Pro, this book is a must-have bible for any betch looking for love.So put away the Ben & Jerry’s fro-yo (just because it’s low fat doesn’t mean it’s okay to eat the whole tub) and start dating like a winner.
Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr
This is a biting, hilarious parody of the trite affirmation books currently on the market--the one book that says, "Go ahead, indulge your selfishness and encourage your bitter side. You have the right to it, you've earned it, so enjoy it!". 183 pages.
The Art of Breaking Up
Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s creative collaborative community HITRECORD looks at love from both sides in this ingenious flippable book.So, you just got dumped, huh? Or did you just dump someone? Doesn’t matter who ended it. Either way, you’re sleeping alone tonight.But don’t worry, you’re not really alone. HITRECORD’s global community of over 750,000 active artists is here to help with The Art of Breaking Up, a new book designed to get you through this trying time.That’s over 750,000 people who know the soul-crushing pain of a broken heart. But instead of wallowing forever in vats of unproductive (but delicious) cookie dough, they’ve channeled all that misery into an insightful, funny, and smart compendium of musings, photography, drawings, collages, puzzles, recipes, games, and more—designed to explore (and distract from) the mind-numbing agony of a romantic breakup. You’ll laugh, you’ll smile, and you’ll probably cry.Everyone knows there are two sides to every break-up, so this book features a double-sided, flippable structure. One side eases the tortured consciences of the HEARTBREAKERS. Flip the book, and the other side considers the plight of the BROKEN-HEARTED.Both sides are organized chronologically with chapters that correspond to the emotional trajectory of both the HEARTBREAKER and BROKEN-HEARTED. Chapters include: Early Warning Signs, Exit Strategy, The Break Up, Acceptance, Depression, Bargaining, Anger, and Denial. Where the two sections meet in the middle there is a compelling, heart-wrenching moment where the HEARTBREAKER and BROKEN-HEARTED connect again, but we’re not giving that away.Inside this book you’ll find plenty of art, stories, comics, and other amusements, such as a Post-Break-Up Relationship Survey, Denial Yoga, Candy Hearts for Assholes, Breakup Greeting Cards, Hex Your Ex Voodoo Doll, The Free Bird Word Search Game, and a playlist or two, including "Right Back at Ya," a collection of songs to stoke the burning rage in your heart.Everything you’ll find in this book was made collaboratively by people from around the world on HITRECORD–an online creative platform for collaborative art and media projects founded and directed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt.With its universal, all-inclusive approach to the subject, The Art of Breaking Up is an acute observation of love and heartbreak in modern times, and maybe–just maybe–a salve for anyone with a broken heart.
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